Daddy – time to use a cane 😊

FYI, the irony of this situation is not lost on me.  🤣🤣😑😑💗💗
Daddy just got permission to use a single point cane in the house! 🙌🔥. In my world, there were 3 additional steps between a P walker and a SP cane. But Daddy is doing well despite all that weird blood flow stuff. We had a GREAT time at PT and OT just now. They are so kind there – this was the last place I Rehabbed before David got me kicked out 😑. Today, I was busy checking in so Daddy had to walk into his session alone. “Take good care of Daddy, OB!” I called over my shoulder. We got a ton of homework in OT. I gotta go find the Theraputty that Randy (yes, Randy, my ATC) gave me. I’m blue, Daddy is yellow. || T: these dexterity exercises are probably very mentally exhausting. Me: We’re okay with that – we are Tans. || Thank the Lord, he got a lot of exercise today, and we both did a lot of laughing. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace #brainaneurysm

June 27….a problematic backdrop, but Daddy is doing well 💗

Daddy saw the neurosurgeon today. He is recovering very well from the angiogram that did not go as planned, however, his blood flow is more flawed than anticipated. Against this problematic backdrop, there are two aneurysms that still need to be “secured.” The next procedure will be June 27, during which Daddy will be under general anesthesia. Please pray he continues to heal well in the next month and that the procedure will go well on the 27th. Dr. C hopes that it will not be diagnostic like last time, but that she will be able to treat both aneurysms right then. Thank you always for your love and prayers.


The King ALWAYS goes first

AMBIGUITY 😑. I don’t like it. I prefer to formulate the game plan, assign roles & responsibilities, and explain strategy via PowerPoint in order to boost the chance of success. But the Lord often uses ambiguity to make me take Him at His word. He told Israel to leave the bondage of Egypt and camp out in front of the Red Sea. They murmured bc they knew Pharaoh was coming for them. Then God told Moses to tell them to get up and walk in the direction of freedom…..which happened to lead directly into the aforementioned Red Sea. 😑😑😑 the Lord did not explain that He was going to part the waters, He just did it. 😳Can you imagine being the guy in front?!?!This is my theory: I don’t like Ambiguity, but w/o faith it is impossible to please Him. So while I wait on guidance for my specific situation, I keep busy with this (non exhaustive and not prioritized) list of action items that are inarguably God’s will. This list is not a breezy checklist – it’s a tall order to be approached aggressively and with enthusiasm like how David literally RAN to meet Goliath and the Philistine army. But although it’s scary, God promises to go before me. It’s totally like epic battle scenes in the movies. The King ALWAYS goes first. || p.s. Happy Mother’s Day 💗💗💗 #shreddedgrace

Daddy’s Angiogram

During Daddy’s angiogram this morning an artery was “injured/dissected.” They are doing a CT scan now to assess damage and see if he needs surgery. He will at least stay overnight. They only got an image of one side – they still need the other. Please pray for Daddy’s healing and strength for Mommy. She’s at the hospital with Ernie.

Update: I stress baked. Grain Free Monk Fruit. Daddy is resting. No CT scan yet, but the docs say he’s doing okay. 💗💗💗

Prayer Req

Hi! Please pray (1) that Daddy’s Angiogram May 9 will go smoothly and he will recover quickly- the Surgeon will decide on how to address the aneurysms after this procedure . (2) The right people (I have a First Choice) to help me. My hip, back , and breathing got messed up – probably a result of all this extra stress and physical strain since March, concurrent with the hearing loss and everything that happened. I received STRONG DIRECTION from my Neuro after she saw my gait Wednesday that although David and Randy have been supporting me well, I must take formal action. 😑 Thanks, Ning
Ps. In case I forgot to tell you, in q418 I experienced sudden hearing loss with a relentless heartbeat sound and multiple other constant interfering noises in my L ear. Extensive imaging showed zero structural cause for alarm. At the same time I experienced balance loss, gait regression, pain, more sensitivity to sound, and other Stuff involved in adjusting to this new state. I was having rather a tough time of it, but thank the Lord I got a fabulous hearing aid and my people coached me through how to grapple with life through these mobility disturbances. However, I was formally diagnosed with a retorn L hip labrum two days before Daddy’s event. I made the decision to leave physical Therapy and put the past 5 years of training into practice (house activities take a ton of physicality for me) and my people promised to help me fix the damage after I did what I needed to do for my family. I think now might be that time.

Thank God my body hasn’t protested more than this, and that Daddy’s event distracted me enough to really force the issue and help me adjust (gait, balance and nausea are better) but mostly that Daddy is doing well 💗💗.  

Thank you for your prayers and for the lovely friends who have driven me to necessary appointments.

This is what happened after my Neuro saw me walk:

Doc: 😑 So what do you want to do about it?

Me: is nothing an option? 

Doc: Don’t look at me like that.

Me: I’m not looking at you!!! I’m obviously looking away evasively.

Doc: so call me after you’ve done this a while to tell me how you feel.

Me: WAIT – this isn’t a one and done deal? (Internal: I’m not calling you.)

Me to MA taking notes: Dude, are you writing this down? Please don’t write that down. 🤣🤣🤣

Doc: if you let it lock up more you will lose ROM and it will be harder to fix later. Your neck and shoulders are tighter than usual (which is saying something). Weekly Medical massage for a month. Also, you will eventually need to work on the tears in your hip. 😑

Me: I am allergic to everyone. 

Doc: you need to do something about this.


So then I ruminated for 10 minutes in the waiting room on whether or not she really meant it. I admit that since she wrote it on the order, she might’ve meant it. Also, the MA wrote it down. So she’s going to remember.
Don’t worry. I will follow orders. Waiting to hear back from the A-Team to see if her schedule permits 💗🙏.  If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time, the A Team = the ONE AND ONLY Gen 🙌🙌🙌

#avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #brainaneurysm #medicalmassage 


Thank you all for your kindness. This is an intro for new friends who might be confused by my hashtags. My name is Ann/Ning. I survived an AVM Rupture and massive stroke in 2011 right after I declared my intent to move to Africa as a missionary. I lived, but am now permanently disabled. Now I write and speak about Survivorship and Recovery, as well as the spiritual implications of what happened to me. Www.ShreddedGrace .com || Daddy had a stroke in March ‘19. He has two aneurysms and multiple blockages impeding brain blood flow 😑. Thank God Daddy is recovering well. I get a lot of my hardcoreness from him, but let’s be real – Mommy is what’s what. We all agree. Prior to Daddy’s event I was adjusting to sudden hearing loss, major balance disturbance, crushing fatigue, gait regression, accompanying joint pain, and other Stuff. I received a new script to re rehab an old injury (L Hip #labraltear s), but my own PT is on hold bc I’m hanging out with Daddy. I’ve ignored many problems semi successfully and actually seen gait/balance gains. But my strategies (control of rest, light, and sound) for coping with the hearing loss and additional sensory interference have been disrupted. I am already #hypervigilant – you can imagine that Daddy’s event has only exacerbated this as well as the things still wrong with my gait. And yet, I trust God with Daddy’s safety while I do what I can to make sure Mommy is okay and I don’t injure myself more severely. Obviously, I can’t do a WHOLE lot, so trusting is the best option, which I should be doing anyway. My siblings and their kids have rallied around Grammo and Grampo and keep us smiling and functional. PTL I found a couple drivers to take me to the bare minimum appointments – David (Personal Trainer), Randy (Athletic Trainer), and my Mental Health Pro. JN comes weekly to clean and make sure we are behaving. I 💗 her. Ed Blueberry just celebrated his 88th birthday. FYI he is never going to die, he just stopped aging. Shirley is 6 forever. Thank you for all your prayers over the years. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #brainaneurysm #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace

Angiogram May 9

Daddy had a great appointment with the Neurosurgeon. After the Angiogram on May 9 she will decide on the type of procedure for the aneurysms. Although his MRI revealed another event after he came home, 😑she did the standard in office vision and motor post-stroke testing and was pleased at Daddy’s progress and optimistic about his recovery. We are very grateful to the Lord for this prognosis, your prayers, and that Daddy started Outpatient Rehab this week. We had a great PT intake yesterday. Please continue to pray (1) that we receive accurate and timely information – this has been a problem since the original event (2) Daddy’s continued treatment, procedures, home exercises, and recovery.| ps. The NeuroSurgeon also worked on Emmy, who is doing well, PTL 💗 #strokesurvivor #brainaneurysm #shreddedgrace

Level Changes and Lateral Movement 🤼‍♂️

Can you see the moon rising? 5 months ago I was terrified of walking on the street bc my balance got so bad. Even the driveway was iffy. Today I either don’t care, or I adjusted successfully. Technically, walking outside of our driveway is not an officially sanctioned unsupervised activity. But in these circumstances, no one is around to stop me 🤣🤣🤣 but don’t worry, I was careful and brief. I still fatigue super easily. But I was very confident and managed my level changes and lateral movement like a champ in order to get the right angles. Thank you guys and @fyzicalgermantown #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace