Learning I could no longer play the piano was more crushing than learning I could not walk bc making music can express what you cannot. And then I realized I could not sing at church. I’ve never been a singer, but I always loved joining my church family in the songs we have loved for centuries and brand new ones. But I had very little voice/breath control for talking, and none for singing. But within months after beginning training w D & R I could sing (softly – Boo boo: you are still an alto) and it took a few yrs, but I could stand to speak publicly and control my voice and breathing. A then I started losing hearing. I play the piano by ear since I cannot use my eyes to read music, and since the hearing is going, my performance has….declined. It’s harder to hear my own voice in my head so my capacity to sing – alto, or otherwise – has declined, too. But Nurse P pointed out to me in #EMDR that although I was scared when I woke up, my body adapted to my new life automatically. My lungs had a TEENY TINY bit of damage on the bottom from the vent, but they figured out how to breathe lying in bed, and then sitting in a chair (that was terrifying, BTW). Eventually, I pushed my lung capacity to the edge then lost it again when my mobility declined as my hearing changed. But the Bottom Line = I CAN LEARN NEW THINGS. I was in Bujumbura with @jjburundi 10 years ago. This pic was the first time I saw anyone sing in sign language – we were visiting a L’Ecole Ephphatha pour les Sourds. And as I learn ASL I am DELIGHTED to realize I am becoming more receptive to ASL worship music interpretation. Music really DOES express what you cannot. I’m warning you, though – in every other context I burst out in very short sentences in an ASL/Cued Speech hybrid. That is NOT a thing. I’m just too slow/new at either to stick to one. And when I say, “short” I mean, SHORT E.g., “Lord, help me.” That’s the first thing I signed spontaneously. And yes, I use it a LOT. || PRAYER REQ: my ears are bothering me and my back hurts ||PRAISE: @erkep got a house!! We are so glad!! xoxo #strokesurvivor #avmsurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace
Like this:
Like Loading...
