508.  Operation Lift

“I can’t live like this,” I said to David yesterday. And then I remembered – I used to feel like this ALL THE TIME. 5 years ago I was in a ton of pain and could barely do anything. This recent episode was a brutal reminder of ‘12-‘13. Then God directed my path to build my Recovery Infrastructure and I’m ready to declare that My Method WORKS. Team Tanimal is a well-oiled machine 😂😂😂. I have invited the highest levels of medical care into my situation and these people are **on point.** I don’t tell you about everything, but this last speed bump was pretty bad – however, Operation Lift began yesterday. David is building me up again and I’m THRILLED. And I’m not scared bc a year ago I truly thought I might lose it all but Randy rehabbed me until I was stronger than ever. So I know it can happen with the right help. David is in charge this time and says it’s probably going to go faster (even though my core got floppy again and he’s starting with super basic stuff). Soon I will launch Shredded Grace: Reaching Higher and explain “My Method” to encourage my Survivor friend, Marlene. David, Randy, and Matt are helping. “Operation Lift” doesn’t just refer to #gains – it’s a reference to the men who carried their paralytic friend’s bed to where the Lord Jesus was speaking (Luke 5),lifted their friend onto the roof to bypass the crowd, removed some tiles, and lowered him down through the hole so he was right in front of the Lord, who said, “…Rise up and walk.” I BEGGED God to give me an instant miracle when I woke up. But He chose to give me a miracle via ordinary means so I could participate, and I found out that His way is best. It’s a big deal if you’re in a #wheelchair when you get comfortable supporting your own body weight on your legs or using your arms. But it’s even better when you get strong enough to lift another person. 
PS. Follow @shreddedgrace on Youtube, Facebook and Instagram. Even if you’re not interested in Recovery, I promise to be WILDLY ENTERTAINING. This photo is a reject. I was voted down by my spirited “focus group” who said I have to look at the camera. Booo. 

#avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive

507.  Happy New Year!!

Click to watch my Update on YouTube (13 min)

I’m a little late, but what’s new about that?  I’m doing this on my phone right now and the app got updated and I have no idea how to do this.  But if I get my computer to cooperate I will post some outtakes from the original “vlog” version.  It’s basically me sitting there, forgetting what happens next, but it’s actually really funny, and I’m totally speaking off the cuff.  Summary: 

Yeah, Ummmmm….I’m not gonna lie – this Life is tough……


(Extremely long, pensive pause)

Happy New Year 💗
Update Summary

1. Thank You, Coach Randy

2. Look at what Matt Hankey can do!! 😳😳🙌🏽👍🏽

3. Introducing Marlene

Coming Soon: ShreddedGrace – Reaching Higher (follow @shreddedgrace on YouTube)

To keep up with my latest adventures (basically, Animal Muppet/Trainer D/ Sister Maria and I relish the opportunity to antagonize each other on a public platform) follow me on Instagram:  @shreddedgrace

506. A Beautiful View

Matt and 2 Team Member from OAS (Oregon Adaptive Sports)

Yup, Matt Hankey is definitely tougher than I am. Diahanne (the Pool Ninja) and her younger son, Dylan, took Matt skiing. Dylan’s a skier and he thought this up. They went through OAS – Oregon Adaptive Sports. I found this pic (below). Would you have the courage to do that? Personally, I’d rather sit in the chalet and drink hot cocoa. (With handcrafted vanilla and peppermint marshmallows cut into hearts.)


Matt is tough bc I gave him a speech about how he should put his mental/emotional armor on. I did gymnastics extremely briefly and badly, but my kinesthetic memory is strong. The first time I “ran” on land (w M37 at Planet Rehab) I cried (in secret). So I was thrilled that Matt was going skiing, but concerned since he probably hadn’t felt the wind on his face since before the AVM ruptured.

I needn’t have worried. He LOVED it. He told me, we were going SO FAST!! And he got to do the steering, although D and D were “encouraging” him to use his left arm so it was a therapeutic exercise LOL.

Apparently Matt still has a need for speed.

I’ve done this before – given him long email pep talks that he responds to with a single pithy sentence, typed with one finger but saturated with meaning and born from an understanding of Survivorship. I knew I wanted to write about the Ski Trip but hadn’t connected with anyone yet. Last Tuesday Matt posted a pic on Instagram –the colors are superb. The mountains are spectacular. His smile is real.

Me to Coach R: Shirley wants to know if you like her new dress.

Last Thursday, April 6, was the 5th Year Anniversary of Matt’s AVM Rupture. I call it, Shirley’s Birthday. Shirley is my (FEROCIOUS) Wolf, Ed’s apprentice.

Ed with Trainer D

Ed needs an apprentice because the next day, Friday, April 7, was his 86th birthday (the 6th Anniversary of my AVM Rupture). This is naturally a difficult time of year. But the last few months have been particularly rough (after I published my Eagle Update) – I realized that I don’t really talk about my symptoms, maybe I should – but I get tired of it. Anyway, I really appreciate your prayers on an ongoing basis. But let me just say that in the midst of trouble, I knew that it’s a basic scriptural principle to see things that are Not Seen. And when I applied myself to this there was overwhelming confirmation of God’s care, protection, and faithfulness – and that all of this TOTALLY fits the pattern of how He does things. (Which is not to say that it’s not scary – because it is – but in a chilling and exhilarating sort of way.) PS. I took a hit around the New Year but I’m getting stronger and stronger.

Eagle Update – Dec 2016


I had been wondering how to “celebrate” Shirley and Ed’s birthdays. It turns out that Dylan and Diahanne took care of it. They got all Matt’s gear to his house the night before and left for the mountain (Mt. Bachelor) at 5am the next morning. Then they proceeded to have what Matt termed as “an Epic Ski day.” Apparently it was totally lit.


David setting up mats for my Cartwheel. Randy was totally in favor bc he is a wrestler and I was not asking him to spot me. Trainer D is a gymnast so he was the Chosen One.  He didn’t think I was serious but when I wouldn’t let it rest he got the mats out even though he looked rather green in the face.  I’ve never seen him sweat like that.

I wrote at the end of Trainer D’s book about the time he allowed me to try a cartwheel. (Ch. 15 “Cartwheel” – Vol 2. Learning How to Live.) I compared it to how a dear friend of mine took her son to the beach (he’s a transplant survivor and also has awful shellfish allergies) – she is a surgeon herself and planned out all the emergency routes to the nearest facilities and brought everything she needed to keep him alive long enough to get there in case anything happened. It was important bc he hadn’t been to the beach before, and so much of his childhood was spent as an inpatient getting the transplant that she was bound and determined to give him that experience. She calculated the risk and made arrangements.

As a Survivor I have been so grateful that I found David and Randy, who are willing and able to vouch for my safety so I can try things, experience new things, and remember old ones. Okay, so I might have badgered David into the cartwheel thing, but that’s neither here nor there.

When Matt posted that pic on Instagram he hashtagged it #beautifulview. That was the part that made me cry. I tried hard to remember the last truly beautiful view I saw.

It was in Africa. 6 years ago in the hills of Burundi, when we went on a picnic at a Tea Plantation. While I am learning to manage my symptoms better and better, this means I need to pay attention to the effects of travel on my body. Right now the rule is that I must take a Muscle Relaxant Rx prior to every plane ride and car ride (1 hour+) because travel takes its toll on me more than I’ve been admitting. So for now I am most comfortable within a 30 mile radius of my parents’ house.

If I REALLY wanted to go to the beach or skiing, I have an amazing bunch of friends who would make that happen in a heartbeat. But I’ve decided that it wouldn’t be worth it for me. But it warms my heart to know that I’ve got people who would arrange it for me if I asked them.

I cannot overstate the significance of someone giving a Survivor an experience. There are very serious concerns that go along with interacting with someone with a complicated health history. It is not a responsibility to be taken lightly.

My theory is that the best peeps (like D and R) aren’t thinking of the safety implications at first – they just respond instinctively out of human compassion. But it turns out that they have the knowledge and heart to take on the responsibility. That’s what Dylan and Diahanne did. Thank you so much.


PS.  we did great on Matt’s Shredded Grace fundraiser.  Now we’re looking to the future.  I’m working on the vid from one of the events last month.  Stay tuned.  Meanwhile, go buy the guys’ books.  It’s always nonprofit and will help Matt walk again.  They are HILARIOUS chronicles of Recovery.  I seriously could not make this stuff up.

Learning How on Amazon – *Always* NonProfit




I am in full on Event Mode. Prayers appreciated bc I haven’t been feeling my best and this is incredibly grueling. Good news: Better breathing during #CoachR ‘s endless ladder/#squats regimen. 🔁 Bad news: My back is sad and my hips are grumpy today. I sat in my #wheelchair while I worked the table at the Gym this morning. I use the chair when I need to – I have a choice. Matt doesn’t. That’s why I’m doing this. Events on Sat 11 and 18. Please show some support by wearing some shades. Post a pic and hashtag #shreddedgrace – Thanks

505. 12/16 Update – 2 months and look what happened!!


Dear Beloved, I sent my last update two months ago, launching my Trainer Books and Shredded Grace.  Look what happened!! (Click the image below to watch the video of Matt walking in the pool.)  This quick video was taken by Krissy,  (half of Mark and Krissy, family friends who have stood by Matt – Mark manages Matt’s medical funds and makes sure the money is being spent on stuff that works.  Spoiler Alert:  we’re funding this bc Pool Therapy WORKS. )   Matt is in the pool, working hard under the guidance of Pool Ninja Diahanne.   It’s EXACTLY what I asked God for when we began this adventure.  No, wait – it’s better.  Watch how hard Matt is working to pick up his feet.  Every step is a choice – a deliberate decision you  make to send the signal from your brain to your leg.

Click for Video of Matt walking with Diahanne!!!

Click for Video of Matt walking with Diahanne!!!


Your generosity is making this possible.  I was 30 when my brain bled – I had a career, fantastic insurance, and savings that fund my Recovery.  Matt was 16.  The transition from boyhood to manhood is tough enough, but when you add in a cataclysmic medical event….  We’re more than halfway to our very modest goal of a year of pool therapy.  For perspective, Matt has been in his chair for almost 5 years.  This is about access to care.  Please help:  Give Forward

I launched Shredded Grace two months ago all of a sudden bc I was anticipating medical drama and wanted to do it before the onslaught.  I asked you to pray about my hip (labral tears, potential surgery) and “XYZ.”  Update:  No surgery at present.  YES!!!!  Things got worse before they got better, but Coach Randy’s PT ministrations are working, and I am pleased with my current pain and functionality status and am in a position to regain strength and stamina and pursue more.  There were a gazillion tests for XYZ and zero answers. So Trainer David threw the gauntlet down AGAIN and challenged me to take care of basic things that had fallen by the wayside  (eating food 3x/day as opposed to 2x.  I know – this sounds ridiculous, but I’m working on baby steps :)).  Jessica Smurfette RD and my entire medical team have united in support of this goal and I am being observed closely.

Happily, I was able to do a few speaking events before the downturn, and I spoke and STOOD for the first time ever at a Conference in September.  I was so grateful to take part and very happy I did not fall down.  I did grip the podium really hard.  I have also been able to do more things around the house – simple things that allow me to hold on to something while doing the work, e.g. do dishes, fold laundry, etc.  I train so I have the breath and balance to speak and to live.  It’s working.

Do I wish there had been conclusive results to all those tests?  Of course.  But I was pleased that I’m now able to manage a process like this and was happy that my medical pros stepped up to the plate when I asked them to think outside the box bc I have a lot of factors in play.   I used my Medical Resume.   I didn’t get clear cut answers, but I’m confident we made an intelligent effort.So for now I’m content to take a little medical vacation, concentrate on my gait, exercises, and nutrition,  help Matt walk again, and enjoy these next couple of months with my family.

Uncertainty is a problem for me simply because there has been so much of it, starting with that time I went to work on April 7, 2011, and never came home.  But in the absence of definitive answers I’m happy in the things I know to be true no matter what.



Wishing you and your family a joyful close to 2016 and a healthy 2017!


PS.  Check out my new Podcast!  Basically, I just sit there and crack myself up for 5-10 minutes.  Come hang out with me!  It’s the audio version of my blog.  Available on iTunes and Podbean.

iTunes Podcast
PPS.  If you’re new around here, I only invade your inbox once or twice yearly.  I am following in the footsteps of Daddy , who sent out email updates when I first got sick, starting with this one:  276.  Losing Heart.    Almost 6 years have passed and my emails are A LOT funnier than poor Daddy’s.


Learning How on Amazon - it's all Non Profit!!  All Online 2017 sales go to help Matt walk again.

Learning How on Amazon – it’s all Non Profit!! All Online 2017 sales go to help Matt walk again.

504. How to Create and Use a Medical Resume


I just got a text from my dear childhood friend and college roomate, S, whose baby sister had brain surgery for a tumor several years ago and who is being advised by her medical team to get another surgery done by EOY.  She has an active tumor and symptoms (particularly eyesight) have been aggravated lately.

She was looking for someone to ask a second opinion so of course I was like, I LOVE my neuro.  Go see her.  And then I cried my eyes out.  I still am.  But then I figured I’d publish this post bc this method has been very helpful to me especially as I’ve met new docs and sought their advice concerning specific issues or procedures.

Update:  No labral tear hip surgery for me, at least right now.  Coach R’s “Physical Therapy” is working.  He’s an Athletic Trainer/medical professional and all and knows what he’s doing (it helps that he’s got almost 3 years of data on my gait and is also a Strength Coach) but I maintain that he’s totally just making this up in his head.  Which is okay (I just like to say sassy things) since it’s totally working.  Sometimes I’m like, Owww!  and he just looks at me with the slit eyes like, We should do this anyway.  And one day my right leg FREAKED OUT so he just held the patella in place or something and made me finish the set.

If you’re wondering how Trainer D and Smurfette are doing, they are fine and dandy.  Except Animal Muppet yelled at me for a WHOLE HOUR a couple weeks ago bc he found out I had stopped eating food again.  :/  Quote from yesterday:  How are your neurotransmitters?   Seriously, D – I am so embarrassed for you right now.  Who asks that sort of thing?  I don’t even know what that means.

Meanwhile, I’m much more interested in the fact that Smurfette is rocking a new long bob after donating her curls to Locks of Love.  High 5,  Smurfette!!

I’m also starting a podcast.  I will launch formally when I send my next email update.  But check it out on iTunes.


Back to the Medical Resume thing:  Mine has become much shorter  over the years.  Assume the doc will only glance at it briefly.  What do you want them to know, and what do YOU want to know?  Go in there with a goal (e.g. Information on Pros and Cons of X, Images and Tests, advice on how to approach a problem) and signal intent to pursue this seriously by managing your own time and the doctor’s schedule by accomplishing your agenda and getting what you need with a minimum of fuss.  If you lay it out on paper they know you mean business and can serve you better and faster.  Also, bring a friend or family member so you can compare notes later.

This image is an example – it’s what I used for my Ortho Surgeon.

I know, I know – the majority of the population will not need a Medical Resume.  But there are some of us who are so EXCRUCIATINGLY COOL that we will have a template we customize for each new doctor.  This is a tool you can use to help yourself get the level of care you want.  It’s also a great idea for a family member of friend to do for a loved one who is not able to create one for him/herself, and also for people facing a new diagnosis.  It keeps everyone on track at the appointment, especially if you’re new at this and nervous, or an old hand…frankly, I’m ALWAYS nervous.

Note to D:  This is YOUR body and your decision.  The best thing you can do is get insight from professionals.  It’s scary and it stinks, but be guided by their expertise even if it’s not what you want to hear.  You want the best outcome for the long term.  I’m sorry.  SNIFF.  Big Hugs and lots of prayers for you and your whole family, xoxo ning.

This Walk to the Car took 5 Years


The first time I picked up a kid it was 18 month old Ezra. It was soon after I came home and I leaned against a wall and picked him up but totally overshot bc of lack of spatial awareness and motor control and bonked his little head against a cabinet. I was horrified but he was completely silent and just rubbed his noggin silently and let me hug him.

5 yrs later we were leaving church and little brother P2 wasn’t wearing shoes. (I’ve been on vacation with E and R.) “But Aunty Ning Ning, if I walk on the street my feet will get dirty.” I was the only adult around so I picked Peter up and walked to the car. It was only 30 seconds, but I waited a LONG time to be able to do that.

RecoveryLand has been rough lately and my symptoms have gotten aggravated. But moments like this remind me why I spend so much time and energy training. I train for real life – weekends, holidays, and vacations…and for walks to the car with a squirmy kid so his feet don’t get dirty. Not on my watch, P2. Aunty Ning has a thing about feet. 😏😜

503. The Eye of the Tiger


It’s Monday!  Welcome to the new work week.  I confess, I’m exhausted – and we haven’t even started yet.  But I’ll rally – it’s a good thing I’m a Tan.  We have the Eye of the Tiger.  🙂

Thank you for praying for Sassy Smurf.  She is doing well in her post-seizure recovery – no additional episodes, PTL just adjusting to the new parameters and deciding what to do next.  Please continue to pray, and for me, too.  Recalibration II is encountering some wrinkles.

PS. Are you on Instagram? Follow me @iheartrecovery

Learning How on Amazon - it's all NONPROFIT!

Learning How on Amazon – it’s all NONPROFIT!

502. Feb ’16 – The Courage to Trust


Red Alert! I just got word that my dear dear friend, Sassy Smurf aka “Molly” from Volume 1 had a seizure on Sunday while running. A passing motorist called 911.  She’s okay and at home now, but this is not cool.


A few days ago she sent me a PDF of a newspaper clipping about the wreck she was in. (FYI, half of her was replaced or beefed up with titanium.) Thank God that I didn’t open it and she warned me that it was pretty rough stuff (it took family members years before they could bear to look at it). A while later she texted me, I’m not actually in this picture. I’m already on the flight.

OH, OKAY. So they had already used the Jaws of Life to extract her and she was on the chopper. I feel SO much better about this situation.

I just told her, M, honey, that doesn’t make it better.


But I get it. I do the same thing. Like that time I emotionally hijacked you guys and got all these messages from people saying they couldn’t read my blog that day bc it was too appalling. We “forget” how sad it is. Maybe it’s partially a coping mechanism – we diminish the feelings as a way of protecting ourselves.

My PTSD has been aggravated since Mrs. Ridgely passed away (okay, it was probably aggravated before that), and the bad dreams I told you got better last month took a nose dive again. But I got a nice month of respite that was probably aided by Nyquil induced sleep since I was quite ill for most of it.

Getting back into the swing of things has been rough. I was totally gagging this morning as I struggled to swallow all of my breakfast and I told Mommy, Man alive – I gotta email Smurfette. I don’t think I can keep this up.

Her husband, Animal Muppet aka Trainer D, had to catch me at least 3 times in the past week of Training. Since Gen isn’t massaging anymore, Trainer D is fixing my right forearm. There is screaming and writhing involved. He just says grimly, None of that. Other favorite quotes include, No Pain Face – no one wants to see your Pain Face. Even if he’s looking in the other direction he can sense if I’m making a face because he can tell when I’m not breathing.

There was a change in plans and Coach R didn’t have to travel after all. Yay!! Now we have more time for my projects. Apparently Coach R has plans, too.

2 weeks ago:

Coach R: Are you going to be here Monday?
Me: Yes.
Coach R: Bc I want you to run longer…we will do whatever you need afterwards. But I want you to run longer.
Me (external): Yes, sir.
Me (internal): That was code for It doesn’t matter if you are bleeding, injured or not breathing – I will fix it – but you WILL run longer on Monday.

I think he was concerned because he had found me napping on a treatment table after I ran half the usual time.
CoachR: How long have you been lying here playing dead?
Me: Go away, R, I’m busy sleeping.

But I have been running more and have had some weirdness in the left leg. So Coach R worked on it today.

Me: Is this gonna hurt?
Coach R: [long significant pause, full of meaning]….well, I won’t kill you….
Me: That’s what you said last time, R.

So I’ve been having fun with my peeps and am enjoying getting back to my routine.   The idea of having a routine is immensely comforting. One of the most shocking things I realized when I first became disabled was that navigating new environments as simple as a public restroom was like the Olympics.

It took me a year to use the locker rooms at the Regular Gym.

It took me over a year and a half to coordinate my vision and motor skills enough to use the water cooler at the Running Gym.

Simple stuff is a big deal in my world. Disruptions to the systems and routines I’ve put in place are not welcome. I have had some setbacks since my bleed, but not on the scale of collapsing outside somewhere and waking up in the in an ambulance.

We are almost 5 years out from our injuries. This is a curve ball. I was so pleased to think that my friend Sassy Smurf, who was in a wheelchair like I was when we first saw each other, was strong enough physically and confident enough to go to Rwanda on medical missions in January.

And then when I read the first few lines of her email tonight I immediately wanted to throw up. This is not the direction we wanted to go in. But then again, neither of us would have chosen for ANY of this to happen, but we are tremendously grateful that God planted us in the hospital together so we could be friends.

We stuck out of the crowd because we were so much younger than the rest of the patients (we’re the same age). Our Moms say that personality-wise we are so similar it’s scary – listening to us talk or reading Facebook comments really reveals that we are so like minded in many things, which is to say that brain injuries let us be as naughty as we know we’ve both been all along.

368. Commiserating

I spent two years talking to M in my head after I came home from RIO. I planned to contact her when I published my first book. But 6 months prior, before I even had the mental capacity to form it into a prayer request, M emailed me out of the blue bc her next-door neighbors are friends of mine from my Oregon church.

When I saw her name pop up in my inbox one morning, I wept like a baby.

367. The Fellowship of His Sufferings

The most horrifying thing about my situation is the isolation – I remember things only I will ever know about.  But God gave me a friend right in the hospital.  For a long time I didn’t want any new friends.  So God started with someone who was extremely similar to me so I wouldn’t be scared.

This is in keeping with how He does things in general. When God decided how to have a relationship with humanity He could have done anything.  He is, after all, God.  He has every right to rule and to reign.  But He chose to come as a baby in a manger.  No one’s going to be scared of a baby.  A baby needs to be held.  We do that instinctively.  It’s something we can understand and relate to – that’s why God chose to approach us like that – so we would be comfortable.

So now we have to manage the tension between the record of how God does things, and the shock and fear related to an event like Sassy Smurf’s seizure.

My friend, J==>G, was preaching on Sunday and I almost burst into tears when he closed in prayer. He said simply, Lord, give us the courage to trust…

It takes courage to trust – God, another person, that my legs will hold me up, that someone will catch me if they don’t…

So, yeah – this is my February prayer request: Please pray for M’s recovery and for courage.

123. Don’t You Care? | This was the first time I heard myself play the piano (I’m still sitting at the keyboard) and I heard what I sounded like.


Learning How on Amazon - it's all NONPROFIT!

Learning How on Amazon – it’s all NONPROFIT!


501. Jan 2016: Recalibration Phase II


Hi, everyone! My plan is progressing nicely. I have not blogged in such a long time I miss it terribly. That’s right – I’ve written 2.5 books in the meantime, but I STILL have more to say. And I’ve been informed that even though I write and talk a ton I’m not saying everything still. That’s why I’m in Therapy :/ (not the Rehabilitation kind, the Mental Health kind). So I’m experimenting with occasional blog updates.

I’ve been very under the weather and it’s been super boring. I cancelled all of my appointments last week. Thank the Lord I was okay enough Saturday morning to go to Mrs. Ridgely’s memorial service. It went really well and was completely packed. Sniff.

The only other thing I did was early in the week when I still felt okay – bloodwork and a brief consultation with Smurfette. A fantastic friend at Boo Boo’s made me this super cool Florida State Seminoles Tiara for Smurfette. You heard me – a TIARA. I noticed while I was speaking at Tea that a lady in the audience had something sparkly in her hair. It turns out she runs a collegiate ribbon business and has recently been offering hair accessories. I told her I needed an FSU Noles item for my Dietician. She made this Tiara and a gorgeous burgundy grosgrain headband for J. Smurfette. Thank you so much – she LOVED it!! Look at her face. Isn’t Smurfette adorable?


Don’t let that sweet little face fool you, though. The girl is a teeny tiny tornado. And 5 minutes after I took this picture, Smurfette done threw the gauntlet DOWN. I started verbally prepping Trainer D a week ago because my physical is coming up and my new numbers will be published and I always tell him everything so I bought a fancy scale with hand and foot sensors so I wouldn’t be freaked out when the time came for me to be officially measured at my PCP’s office. When I told him about it Trainer D’s explanation was simple – You’re in storage mode again.

Me: You mean like that Evil Catatonic State you told me about last time? I queried.

D: LOL. It’s “catabolic.”

Me: You say po-tae-to I say po-tah-to.

I admit it. I’ve had trouble with the eating again. Hence the conversation with Timmy above. He refused, FYI. I can’t think why. It was egg whites, chicken and broccoli. This is one of my tricks: you throw anything in a Magic Bullet, add liquid egg whites and microwave it. It’s packed with protein and is easier to eat.

Anyway, so I spoke with Smurfette:

S: Tell you what – you keep your calories up at X for Z weeks and then we’ll talk about bringing you down to X-Y…

Me: Can we skip straight to the X-Y part?

S: No. You have to PROVE to me that you can eat X so we can repair your metabolism.

…[later, while she’s writing down the MyFitnessPal information so she can monitor me…]

S: Tell Trainer D that he can inquire about your nutrition, but I’m calling the shots.

LOL. They totally crack me up as a couple. So, yeah, Smurfette threw the gauntlet down and her husband, Animal Muppet, informed me of the plans he has for this next round of training. I think he said something about using machines (he hates machines but uses carefully selected ones for me bc of my motor deficits), building more muscle, and the absolute necessity of carefully timed liquid protein consumption.

In December Trainer D taught me how to squat in the squat rack like the Big Kids do and he was so excited he yelled at me the WHOLE TIME. FYI he has increased my weight gradually with goblet squats or with a kettle bell and has seen my balance and awareness improve as I’ve trained with him and Coach R, so D knew I was ready for this. He’s making me learn the movement with just the bar, or with 5 lbs loaded only on one side to work on my symmetry.


The first time I did it I got myself under the bar and lifted on my shoulders but just stood there thinking hard.

Trainer D: Why aren’t you moving? I specifically remember telling you to move.

Me: I’m trying to figure out which one is my dominant foot!!

[Tell me THAT, Smartypants.]

You’re supposed to take 3 steps back starting with your dominant foot. I have always been left-footed (e.g. I cartwheel with my left), but then after the stroke my left side got all messed up.

We had some more words and then I decided to just go for the left foot on the assumption that he’d catch me if anything happened.

And WHERE you ask, is Coach R?


Coach R is well. This is Ed Blueberry proofreading Coach R’s book. Since I’ve been sick I didn’t see Coach R at all last week. I turn around for ONE SECOND and people start asking him to go to other countries and stuff. Seriously. Last time I was like, who’s the person asking you to go? Answer: “This guy I know from the Olympics.”

Blinks. Oh. Okay.

Yeah, so Coach R has some travel coming up, which theoretically I am very glad of, but for real – I need him to stop gadding about creation and FOCUS because I have a new project.


To: Coach R

From: Me

Re: NEW Plan. Chop Chop.


I am still ill and am thus lying in bed planning bc this is getting super boring.  Please survive this weekend bc I need you to put your thinking cap on and get on this chop chop:

  1. You invent something cool
  1. We go on Shark Tank

This needn’t interfere with our Amazing Race audition – the two schemes could happen concurrently.

So that’s what’s going on in my world, folks.

UPDATE: I’m not seeing the guys this week anyway. I’ve still been ill and I had 3 different doc appointments (pre-planned check ups) and my PCP heard something weird in my left lung, but the x-ray was all clear! I ran into Animal Muppet on Tuesday (bc Smurfette works in the same building) and after we cracked ourselves up for a while I remembered I was supposed to go see my psych so D made himself useful by reading the directory so bc I couldn’t remember what floor my doc was on. I got a good report from N1, my fabulous Neurologist today, and now I get to concentrate on planning Ed Blueberry’s 85th Birthday (the 5th anniversary of my injury).  Please pray for wisdom in this matter – I want it to either be really quiet or really special.  Thanks 🙂


Prayer Requests:

  • ASK: that I will get over this cold completely ASAP
  • ASK: That I will achieve a higher level of health in Recalibration Phase II: that I will eat, rest, and move better.
  • THANK: that Mrs. Ridgely is home and happy, and that her Memorial went well.
  • THANK: for a lovely Christmas and New Year with my family, that I am SO much more comfortable than last year, that the bad dreams are better, I have such a great Team of professionals to care for me, and I did quite well at my medical appointments this week.\
Learning How on Amazon - it's all NONPROFIT!

Learning How on Amazon – it’s all NONPROFIT!