502. Feb ’16 – The Courage to Trust


Red Alert! I just got word that my dear dear friend, Sassy Smurf aka “Molly” from Volume 1 had a seizure on Sunday while running. A passing motorist called 911.  She’s okay and at home now, but this is not cool.


A few days ago she sent me a PDF of a newspaper clipping about the wreck she was in. (FYI, half of her was replaced or beefed up with titanium.) Thank God that I didn’t open it and she warned me that it was pretty rough stuff (it took family members years before they could bear to look at it). A while later she texted me, I’m not actually in this picture. I’m already on the flight.

OH, OKAY. So they had already used the Jaws of Life to extract her and she was on the chopper. I feel SO much better about this situation.

I just told her, M, honey, that doesn’t make it better.


But I get it. I do the same thing. Like that time I emotionally hijacked you guys and got all these messages from people saying they couldn’t read my blog that day bc it was too appalling. We “forget” how sad it is. Maybe it’s partially a coping mechanism – we diminish the feelings as a way of protecting ourselves.

My PTSD has been aggravated since Mrs. Ridgely passed away (okay, it was probably aggravated before that), and the bad dreams I told you got better last month took a nose dive again. But I got a nice month of respite that was probably aided by Nyquil induced sleep since I was quite ill for most of it.

Getting back into the swing of things has been rough. I was totally gagging this morning as I struggled to swallow all of my breakfast and I told Mommy, Man alive – I gotta email Smurfette. I don’t think I can keep this up.

Her husband, Animal Muppet aka Trainer D, had to catch me at least 3 times in the past week of Training. Since Gen isn’t massaging anymore, Trainer D is fixing my right forearm. There is screaming and writhing involved. He just says grimly, None of that. Other favorite quotes include, No Pain Face – no one wants to see your Pain Face. Even if he’s looking in the other direction he can sense if I’m making a face because he can tell when I’m not breathing.

There was a change in plans and Coach R didn’t have to travel after all. Yay!! Now we have more time for my projects. Apparently Coach R has plans, too.

2 weeks ago:

Coach R: Are you going to be here Monday?
Me: Yes.
Coach R: Bc I want you to run longer…we will do whatever you need afterwards. But I want you to run longer.
Me (external): Yes, sir.
Me (internal): That was code for It doesn’t matter if you are bleeding, injured or not breathing – I will fix it – but you WILL run longer on Monday.

I think he was concerned because he had found me napping on a treatment table after I ran half the usual time.
CoachR: How long have you been lying here playing dead?
Me: Go away, R, I’m busy sleeping.

But I have been running more and have had some weirdness in the left leg. So Coach R worked on it today.

Me: Is this gonna hurt?
Coach R: [long significant pause, full of meaning]….well, I won’t kill you….
Me: That’s what you said last time, R.

So I’ve been having fun with my peeps and am enjoying getting back to my routine.   The idea of having a routine is immensely comforting. One of the most shocking things I realized when I first became disabled was that navigating new environments as simple as a public restroom was like the Olympics.

It took me a year to use the locker rooms at the Regular Gym.

It took me over a year and a half to coordinate my vision and motor skills enough to use the water cooler at the Running Gym.

Simple stuff is a big deal in my world. Disruptions to the systems and routines I’ve put in place are not welcome. I have had some setbacks since my bleed, but not on the scale of collapsing outside somewhere and waking up in the in an ambulance.

We are almost 5 years out from our injuries. This is a curve ball. I was so pleased to think that my friend Sassy Smurf, who was in a wheelchair like I was when we first saw each other, was strong enough physically and confident enough to go to Rwanda on medical missions in January.

And then when I read the first few lines of her email tonight I immediately wanted to throw up. This is not the direction we wanted to go in. But then again, neither of us would have chosen for ANY of this to happen, but we are tremendously grateful that God planted us in the hospital together so we could be friends.

We stuck out of the crowd because we were so much younger than the rest of the patients (we’re the same age). Our Moms say that personality-wise we are so similar it’s scary – listening to us talk or reading Facebook comments really reveals that we are so like minded in many things, which is to say that brain injuries let us be as naughty as we know we’ve both been all along.

368. Commiserating

I spent two years talking to M in my head after I came home from RIO. I planned to contact her when I published my first book. But 6 months prior, before I even had the mental capacity to form it into a prayer request, M emailed me out of the blue bc her next-door neighbors are friends of mine from my Oregon church.

When I saw her name pop up in my inbox one morning, I wept like a baby.

367. The Fellowship of His Sufferings

The most horrifying thing about my situation is the isolation – I remember things only I will ever know about.  But God gave me a friend right in the hospital.  For a long time I didn’t want any new friends.  So God started with someone who was extremely similar to me so I wouldn’t be scared.

This is in keeping with how He does things in general. When God decided how to have a relationship with humanity He could have done anything.  He is, after all, God.  He has every right to rule and to reign.  But He chose to come as a baby in a manger.  No one’s going to be scared of a baby.  A baby needs to be held.  We do that instinctively.  It’s something we can understand and relate to – that’s why God chose to approach us like that – so we would be comfortable.

So now we have to manage the tension between the record of how God does things, and the shock and fear related to an event like Sassy Smurf’s seizure.

My friend, J==>G, was preaching on Sunday and I almost burst into tears when he closed in prayer. He said simply, Lord, give us the courage to trust…

It takes courage to trust – God, another person, that my legs will hold me up, that someone will catch me if they don’t…

So, yeah – this is my February prayer request: Please pray for M’s recovery and for courage.

123. Don’t You Care? | This was the first time I heard myself play the piano (I’m still sitting at the keyboard) and I heard what I sounded like.


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501. Jan 2016: Recalibration Phase II


Hi, everyone! My plan is progressing nicely. I have not blogged in such a long time I miss it terribly. That’s right – I’ve written 2.5 books in the meantime, but I STILL have more to say. And I’ve been informed that even though I write and talk a ton I’m not saying everything still. That’s why I’m in Therapy :/ (not the Rehabilitation kind, the Mental Health kind). So I’m experimenting with occasional blog updates.

I’ve been very under the weather and it’s been super boring. I cancelled all of my appointments last week. Thank the Lord I was okay enough Saturday morning to go to Mrs. Ridgely’s memorial service. It went really well and was completely packed. Sniff.

The only other thing I did was early in the week when I still felt okay – bloodwork and a brief consultation with Smurfette. A fantastic friend at Boo Boo’s made me this super cool Florida State Seminoles Tiara for Smurfette. You heard me – a TIARA. I noticed while I was speaking at Tea that a lady in the audience had something sparkly in her hair. It turns out she runs a collegiate ribbon business and has recently been offering hair accessories. I told her I needed an FSU Noles item for my Dietician. She made this Tiara and a gorgeous burgundy grosgrain headband for J. Smurfette. Thank you so much – she LOVED it!! Look at her face. Isn’t Smurfette adorable?


Don’t let that sweet little face fool you, though. The girl is a teeny tiny tornado. And 5 minutes after I took this picture, Smurfette done threw the gauntlet DOWN. I started verbally prepping Trainer D a week ago because my physical is coming up and my new numbers will be published and I always tell him everything so I bought a fancy scale with hand and foot sensors so I wouldn’t be freaked out when the time came for me to be officially measured at my PCP’s office. When I told him about it Trainer D’s explanation was simple – You’re in storage mode again.

Me: You mean like that Evil Catatonic State you told me about last time? I queried.

D: LOL. It’s “catabolic.”

Me: You say po-tae-to I say po-tah-to.

I admit it. I’ve had trouble with the eating again. Hence the conversation with Timmy above. He refused, FYI. I can’t think why. It was egg whites, chicken and broccoli. This is one of my tricks: you throw anything in a Magic Bullet, add liquid egg whites and microwave it. It’s packed with protein and is easier to eat.

Anyway, so I spoke with Smurfette:

S: Tell you what – you keep your calories up at X for Z weeks and then we’ll talk about bringing you down to X-Y…

Me: Can we skip straight to the X-Y part?

S: No. You have to PROVE to me that you can eat X so we can repair your metabolism.

…[later, while she’s writing down the MyFitnessPal information so she can monitor me…]

S: Tell Trainer D that he can inquire about your nutrition, but I’m calling the shots.

LOL. They totally crack me up as a couple. So, yeah, Smurfette threw the gauntlet down and her husband, Animal Muppet, informed me of the plans he has for this next round of training. I think he said something about using machines (he hates machines but uses carefully selected ones for me bc of my motor deficits), building more muscle, and the absolute necessity of carefully timed liquid protein consumption.

In December Trainer D taught me how to squat in the squat rack like the Big Kids do and he was so excited he yelled at me the WHOLE TIME. FYI he has increased my weight gradually with goblet squats or with a kettle bell and has seen my balance and awareness improve as I’ve trained with him and Coach R, so D knew I was ready for this. He’s making me learn the movement with just the bar, or with 5 lbs loaded only on one side to work on my symmetry.


The first time I did it I got myself under the bar and lifted on my shoulders but just stood there thinking hard.

Trainer D: Why aren’t you moving? I specifically remember telling you to move.

Me: I’m trying to figure out which one is my dominant foot!!

[Tell me THAT, Smartypants.]

You’re supposed to take 3 steps back starting with your dominant foot. I have always been left-footed (e.g. I cartwheel with my left), but then after the stroke my left side got all messed up.

We had some more words and then I decided to just go for the left foot on the assumption that he’d catch me if anything happened.

And WHERE you ask, is Coach R?


Coach R is well. This is Ed Blueberry proofreading Coach R’s book. Since I’ve been sick I didn’t see Coach R at all last week. I turn around for ONE SECOND and people start asking him to go to other countries and stuff. Seriously. Last time I was like, who’s the person asking you to go? Answer: “This guy I know from the Olympics.”

Blinks. Oh. Okay.

Yeah, so Coach R has some travel coming up, which theoretically I am very glad of, but for real – I need him to stop gadding about creation and FOCUS because I have a new project.


To: Coach R

From: Me

Re: NEW Plan. Chop Chop.


I am still ill and am thus lying in bed planning bc this is getting super boring.  Please survive this weekend bc I need you to put your thinking cap on and get on this chop chop:

  1. You invent something cool
  1. We go on Shark Tank

This needn’t interfere with our Amazing Race audition – the two schemes could happen concurrently.

So that’s what’s going on in my world, folks.

UPDATE: I’m not seeing the guys this week anyway. I’ve still been ill and I had 3 different doc appointments (pre-planned check ups) and my PCP heard something weird in my left lung, but the x-ray was all clear! I ran into Animal Muppet on Tuesday (bc Smurfette works in the same building) and after we cracked ourselves up for a while I remembered I was supposed to go see my psych so D made himself useful by reading the directory so bc I couldn’t remember what floor my doc was on. I got a good report from N1, my fabulous Neurologist today, and now I get to concentrate on planning Ed Blueberry’s 85th Birthday (the 5th anniversary of my injury).  Please pray for wisdom in this matter – I want it to either be really quiet or really special.  Thanks 🙂


Prayer Requests:

  • ASK: that I will get over this cold completely ASAP
  • ASK: That I will achieve a higher level of health in Recalibration Phase II: that I will eat, rest, and move better.
  • THANK: that Mrs. Ridgely is home and happy, and that her Memorial went well.
  • THANK: for a lovely Christmas and New Year with my family, that I am SO much more comfortable than last year, that the bad dreams are better, I have such a great Team of professionals to care for me, and I did quite well at my medical appointments this week.\
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467. Ruth Johnson – <3 Surgery Fri, 2.13


I have another request: Please pray for Ruth, JJ’s mom, who will have open ❤ surgery on Friday, February 13. The projected timeline: 5-7 days hospitalization; 6-12 weeks recovery.

She has had a heart condition since childhood. When I interned for Intel in Oregon during the summer of ’08 I was privileged to type up Mr. N’s life story – a request he had received so his grandchildren would know him better, and that he dutifully attended to in a handwritten journal I deciphered and loaded into Word. To remind you – Mr. N was JJ’s maternal grandfather, and therefore Ruth’s dad. The diagnosis of Ruth’s heart condition figured prominently in the Life Story, and the family actually left the mission field (I think they were serving in what was then the Belgian Congo, I think) for a year to seek treatment at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore from an eminent pediatric cardiologist.

344.  I'm all done Goodbye

344. I’m all done Goodbye

Since then, Ruth has grown up and has had a family of her own – JJ is her eldest. The picture above (bottom left of the collage) is a poem written by JJ’s dad that was posted on the bulletin board in the room I stayed in at Chez J when I was in Burundi. The family used to serve in Burundi but I think they were barred from re-entry when the war got really bad and so the elder J’s moved to Tanzania. This is the boat that JJ’s Dad built:


Wings of the Morning

originally posted Feb 6, 2013


I was staying at ChezJ in March 2011 when JJ’s Dad called (they work in a neighboring country) and told him that their recently completed ship, “Wings of the Morning” had been badly smashed up in a violent storm on the big lake. A couple of years of work had been destroyed. I have zero sailing experience and I have no idea how Mr. J&Co. managed to build something like that in the first place, but I felt the disappointment deeply for them anyway. When I woke up in the hospital, Mom brought me a copy of the latest Missions magazine and I was troubled to find a letter in the back from the J’s, telling of the ship’s demise. I was troubled because I knew the story to be true, so this was a piece of evidence in favor of reality.

Well,they rebuilt. 😊

And now you can see the new vessel (in a nice shade of green) on the cover of the new Missionary Handbook.Ann Ning Learning How |Nonprofit books on Amazon!

466. Mom Bjorlie Update



Thank you so much for praying for Mom Bjorlie.  A pig’s valve has replaced her aortic valve and she is recovering nicely at home.  Please continue to pray for her and the whole family as they adjust and resume their lives.  Specifically, please pray for grace and help….

  • Mom Bjorlie will be monitored from now on – there are logistical hurdles related to a heightened level of medical vigilance
  • For the family to be able to do the things they planned to do before this health event
  • For continued healing

Meanwhile, we visited with E&R&Co. this weekend.  They are as busy and as fun as ever.  This is what happened.

We woke up, and after a heartening bowl of “Eatmeal” (Oatmeal), we put our game faces on.



Ruthie made sweet potato hash, which really helped.


Peter demonstrates his Game Face:



Ernie, Karine and Ezra got pumped up and ready to face the day.



Peter helped make pizza for dinner.



To the victor go the spoils.


But if you make a mess, Gramo says you have to pick it up even if you DID help make the pizza.


Happy Tuesday, everyone!

Pray without ceasing.

I Thessalonians 5.17

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455. Mom Bjorlie Update



Mom Bjorlie has been scheduled for surgery:  Friday – January 23rd.  Please pray for her and the whole family!

She is recovering well from the flu but it appears the situation may be more complicated than originally thought, although I don’t think open heart surgery could ever be looked lightly.  There is an aortic aneurism (I have to go Google that right now), and an ultrasound on Monday to make sure there’s not one in her stomach, too.  Also, the mitral valve might need replacing, but the surgeon won’t know until he looks around during the procedure.

Hmm…this is the part where we pray hard.  Thankfully, what we view as scarily complex is small potatoes to the Lord.  But He knows we get anxious anyway and He sympathizes with us.  🙂

415. Update


Thanks so much for praying!  My x-rays indicate that my bones look good – now I just have to wait to be told if there’s anything to be done about the not-bones.  :).

To: Coach R
From: Me
Re:  My bones look good
Hi, R – I got 6 x rays on Friday (left ankle, knee, hip, shoulder, and both elbows) and my PCP says the results are happy – my bones look good!  .  So although my bones are good my ankle is still bothering me and (most other things but especially) my elbows are grumpy, too – I’m trying to scale back on the [fine motor activities that aggravate them].   I’m trying not to do anything stupid while I wait for a call from the Rehab Doc my PCP referred me to. Presumably she will weigh in on the state of my soft tissue. In the meantime I’m taking it slow and exercising gently and look forward to enjoying “Michael and Me Time” on Thursday.  (It’s often easier visually to look at the SI cover of Michael Phelps instead of the TV, so I call the AlterG “Michael and Me Time”.)  And then it will be R and Me time!  see you :)atnt

Ann T. Ning Tan

Learning How…to Walk, Wait, and Lots of Other Things
AVM Rupture + Stroke Survivor, Recovery Enthusiast
Ann Ning Learning How |Nonprofit books on Amazon!

414. That Escalated Quickly


To: Trainer D
From: Me
Re: My joints are grumpy.

So…..my ankle might have gotten a little worse.  What was a very minor grade 1 last week is now a “moderate” sprain that Gen wants me to wear a brace for.  She also popped something back into place – it was gross. It’s not constantly painful or anything but my foot was really dragging on the AlterG [on Thursday].  My elbows are also acting up.  And my vigilant PCP wants X rays of everything just in case so I told her while she’s at it can she please also do the knee and the hip bc I’d like to get the green light again to exercise (or at least that’s my plan – last time I got cleared was by an ortho in 2012).  So my joints need you to be nice to me tomorrow, please :).

I decided not to tell Trainer D anything about my joints and planned to show up on Friday and see what would happen but I broke down and told him beforehand (email above) that my joints are complaining. Things escalated quickly since I felt that weird twinge on my ankle while I was “running” in the AlterG. After a few paces I was like, Meh, and forgot about it. But the following week it was harder to ignore even though, as I assured Coach R, “I tried to do nothing dumb over the weekend.” It is awfully convenient that Gen is an ortho, so she can check out all my joints and works on them weekly. But then I decided I should do my duty and tell my PCP. I was like, I’m not sure I really need to see anyone…I’m just asking for a referral just in case.

She, being way on top of this situation, emailed me immediately saying, We’re going to need x-rays of all that.

Today the man at the reception desk looked at the order and was like, Wow, so you’re getting a lot done, huh? Yeah. It turned out to be 6 – left ankle, knee, hip and shoulder, plus both elbows. I figured we might as well do everything at once.

113.  Going Backwards (Why I like Ps 34)

113. Going Backwards (Why I like Ps 34)

The last time I did this was in 2012. I had just been discharged from The Place and the hemiparesis surfaced. I thought something was really wrong so I got the full work up. Sadly, A6 had just cut me loose so he wasn’t around to help me out. The really great thing now, I told him a couple weeks ago in the park, is that I have a bunch of people scheduled throughout the week to watch out for me and fix things as necessary.

413.  A Walk in the Park

413. A Walk in the Park

I know that was my original premise – but I don’t always act like that was my intention since I kind of like to have my own way. A lot. Example: my goal this past Thursday was to keep my shoes on and my brace and sock intact even though Coach R had made cryptic references to ROM (Range of Motion) manipulation when I had emailed him about what was going on a couple days before. Everything stayed on my foot but that did not deter him from investigating.

By that evening, though, I knew for sure that things were malfunctioning in a way even I couldn’t ignore so I wrote Trainer D the email above. The good news is that I got to sit or lie down for the whole session today before I went for my x-rays. The bad news is that he did a lot of head shaking with knit brows when he examined the muscles near my ankle and lower leg. And then there was a lot of writhing, trying to wiggle away, verbal protests like, “Go away!” and other manifestations of momentary ingratitude on my part as he attended to the ankle, hip, and shoulder.  My reaction was the unfiltered version of how I’ve been acting with Gen and CMD lately, who, BTW, have been in fine form.

My entire left side feels better, though, so I’m glad, even though it felt worse at the time. So now I just have to wait for my results. I told both Trainers, I already limp, walk with a cane, own a walker and a wheelchair….this really isn’t that bad. I meant that whatever happened to my ankle isn’t making my gait look a lot worse since it wasn’t that pretty to begin with. But it does affect my confidence. I miss my air cast – just like I miss Z, the one who used to carry me around Vibra :).

I’m also just uncomfortable all over. This is mostly likely a carry-over from being stressed out, but it’s been building for a while. For the first time I’ve noticed that Coach R has had to exert increasing amounts of leverage to stretch me. There was a time when I had seen assisted stretching being done, but it was wholly unnecessary for me– my own body weight was more than sufficient for me to roll into the splits in every direction.

Is that me shaking, or you? I asked on Thursday while my left leg was extended ceiling-ward. Both, I think, he said – it’s a good thing he has a strong grip otherwise I’m pretty sure my leg would’ve snapped back and hit him in the head.

Ah, well – even if it had, he’s the type that would recover quickly. I, on the other hand, lack that kind of resilience. What are small potatoes for most people can turn out to be Big Potatoes for me. My old PCP put things in perspective for me: Your immune system is not compromised. But if you get a stuffy nose I want to hear about it.

So please pray I get a good report from all my x-rays and everything that needs healing gets healed up pronto! Thanks 🙂

Ann Ning Learning How |Nonprofit books on Amazon!

410. “That’s too much weight for the lady.”

Just relax.   [Ezra and his turtle in the car]

Just relax. [Ezra and his turtle in the car]

A gentleman who usually chats away with Trainer D in Spanish approached us while I was on the leg press Monday. “That’s too much weight for the lady,” he observed in a very refined tone and accented English. Thank you! I felt validated. I like him, I told Trainer D as the man walked away. Yeah, D agreed. He’s great. (PS. 20 minutes into my session I asked, Is it leg day again and you’re not telling me? Answer: yes, it was leg day. Apparently it’s a regular thing now. :/)

A few minutes later a young guy took a break from his appalling pull-up regimen to come consult Trainer D on something. I was minding my own beeswax and the guy turns to me and says, Now, if D yells at you it’s okay – it’s for your own good.

No worries there, I replied. If he does I give it right back. 🙂

Upon reflection that guy was probably giving that pep talk to the wrong person. I must admit that sometimes I’m the instigator. 🙂 🙂

Right after Leg Day I went to The Running Gym to hang out with Michael Phelps and Coach R. (Side note: Trainer D did not know about my back-to-back schedule but when he found out he immediately put some parameters on my “running” time and said we’d switch Leg Day to a different day when I’m not going to the Running Gym.) I was glad to “run” and had a great day overall. Tuesday and Wednesday were pretty rough, though. There might have been screaming and crying with Gen and CMD. (Me: Are we done yet? (whimper) Gen: I know. (resolutely working away))

The rough days were not a result of my back-to-back Training sessions on Monday. It’s just stress. I’ve hit a speed bump. As tough as this past month and a half have been, the past couple days have been tougher. RecoveryLand is not smooth sailing even though I’ve done my best and am grateful for the extent to which I’ve been able to optimize my Recovery over the past year.   It’s not enough that I lived – I have to deal with the fallout and there are many hoops to jump through. (Side note: I do feel better after talking and laughing with Boo Boo last night. She’s pretty much the only person I talk to voluntarily on the phone. Also, I think we’re reaching the tipping point.)

129.  Ed says, "We're going with Plan C"

129. Ed says, “We’re going with Plan C”

I know I’m on the winning team here – no worries there – it’s just that I get tired when I think of all the stuff that needs to happen to get from Point A to Point B. So I’m going to take it easy – you’ll be enjoying pictures and/or re-posts from my Blog’s “early days.” FYI, post 100. Just Keep Swimming, was my first “public” post. Most posts with a number <100 you probably haven’t read before unless, like several of you have told me, you discovered my blog and sat down and read the WHOLE thing. ❤ Thanks for doing that <3.

I write because the emotional payback outweighs the physical discomfort. But lately the physical discomfort has been “too much weight for the lady,” so I’m taking advantage of the flexibility this platform offers me for at least a week. Thanks for reading, and above all, thanks for praying! Xoxo Ann|Ning

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371. Singing


Last year I asked you to pray for an improvement in my vocal health so I could swallow safely again and so that I could sing. I had been told to go get surgery done on my cords but the ENT who told me to do it referred me to a surgeon since he isn’t one himself, and he saw me at a low point (when I could actually feel that something was wrong).

214.  Dorito Girl Has Been Benched

214. Dorito Girl Has Been Benched

Happily, 3 surgeons have declined to operate as my cords have gotten stronger with more Speech Therapy plus the passage if time, and they wish to avoid additional scarring. The nodule (or “noodle” as Daddy calls it to make me laugh – he had one, too – that’s what got biopsied a while back. Mine’s obviously non cancerous. He had to get his biopsied bc he’s had it in the past.) is still there, but as long as it doesn’t increase in grossness I think no one’s going to get in there and touch anything. My job is to go get scoped periodically to see what’s going on. Good plan, people. I will submit to the long black spaghetti camera being stuck up my nose and down my throat as long as that means everyone will keep his/her hands to himself/herself beyond the routine scoping.

283.  Praise Report

283. Praise Report

The last time I got scoped was in December. I should have gone in March or April, but I went to OR instead, and my ENTs keep on moving so I have to go find new ones. I talked to my Speech Therapist and she was comfortable (she was present at my last check up and saw the improvement in my cords herself) with me waiting until June since I hadn’t noticed any changes. I spent a couple months with her in my first completely lucid round of ST and she worked on my swallowing and some techniques for not being so crazy rough on my cords. We did bottom out, however, (or were close to it) that this might be what my voice is like for now after the karaoke machine picture of my voice didn’t really improve.

304.  Bein' Green

304. Bein’ Green

Although the picture of my voice didn’t improve really, the tension and weakness in my cords did, and when I’ve been told by people in both OR and at Ai Ai’s that my volume has improved since they saw me about a year ago.

YAY! This stems back to my greater ability to exercise. I have really been focusing on learning to manage my air intake and core usage/posture so I can use my voice more appropriately and last longer when I do things around the house. It’s working. People say so. 🙂

In keeping with the tenor of my Recovery the Lord is healing me via ordinary means. A few months ago I felt a difference in the way I sat in the pew at church and threw caution to the wind and tried singing. Reminder: I was not a singer in my life. My old method was to wander around what I fondly hoped was the alto range until I found a (hopefully) suitable interval. My method has remained largely the same, but now there is more wandering and a better excuse. But my musical memory is as keen as ever and I am not as offended by my own sounds.

I hope my singing attempts have not adversely impacted my cords. I will tell you after my next check up. But the point is that I’m excited to be feeling well enough to try and I want to thank you for praying – please continue to do so as being able to use my voice (both speaking and singing) is deeply important to me.