245. “I’m rooting for you.”

AVM and Stroke Recovery | Ann Ning Learning How

The bridge behind the Library

Several years ago I was on the phone with a friend who had hit one of life’s rough patches. Before we hung up I struggled to find the right way to express myself.

“I’m rooting for you,” I said.

A few weeks later I said, “Hey, remember when I told you I was rooting for you?”

“That was code for, ‘I’m praying for you,’”

“Ning,” my friend said, “That wasn’t a hard code to break.”

Side note: as I explain in my FAQ, please don’t be confused or troubled about my name. I went by “Ning” (one of my middle names) a lot in my Old Life. I go by “Ann” (my first name) more often now when I meet new people, and it has kind of become my Medical Alter-Ego. Call me whatever you know me as, or whatever you feel most comfortable with. Thanks 🙂

12B. Codebreaker

12B. Codebreaker

Hee hee. I honestly thought I had been somewhat opaque in my original language. I was trying hard not to be overwhelmingly given to talking about God, but it didn’t work. Now that I think of it, I take my friend’s observation as a great compliment. She graciously received my support knowing it’s the best way I know of to be a friend, and I think it’s hysterical that she knew exactly what I was saying even though I tried to be not obvious about it.

Well, I’ve given up on being subtle. Not entirely, but hey – I still feel overwhelmingly given to talking about God but less apologetic about it. Although my social filter is compromised, I still try to not freak people out too badly, but given what’s happened I can’t NOT talk about God since a) I’m alive, b) I’m as “spirited” as ever, perhaps more than before, and c) many are interested to know why.

A left a comment for me on Facebook last week. “We love you, and are rooting for you.” she said. Thanks, guys – you all are the best. I speak code fluently, so I know A was alluding to the prayer support coming from the Pacific NW (and other areas of the globe).

I found a picture I used as a bookmark in my copy of The Valley of Vision – it’s Mom and Dad at the Hillsboro Library on a gorgeous spring day. They had come to visit me so I took them around to some of my favorite haunts. The walking path behind the library was always well populated (moms with strollers, men fishing, couples taking wedding photos), and I went there several times a week for my exercise. I would walk/run around the lake and congratulate myself on being so healthy. One time I passed a family walking in the opposite direction and they were like, Really? That’s like the 4th time you’ve been around the lake. [You can stop now.] I kept on going.

When my last Neuropsych taught me a visualization technique for pain management she told me to pick a place to think about. I chose the Library. Then she clarified that it should not be a place that elicited any sad feelings, so the Library did not suit, after all. I’m talking about the Library bc I have major Oregon angst. I know I have to go back, and I want to go, but I’m nervous about it. I’d better pull it together now or else I’ll be a raging mess when the time comes to get on a plane so I can go get my stuff out of storage and see my friends. So in the interest of me pulling myself together I have compiled the following list so I can get this out of my system. It is not exhaustive and items appear in no particular order:

Things I miss about Oregon [my Old Life]

  • Going to the café with my colleagues for a drink or a piece of fruit
  • Earning a living
  • Being able to haul all of my groceries up to the 3rd floor in one trip (there was no elevator in my apartment complex)
  • Picking up donuts or bagels when it was my turn to bring treats in to work
  • Getting coffee and pumpkin spice donut holes from the stand in the Library
  • Watching the trees turn different colors as the seasons changed on my walks behind the Library
  • Avoiding the ducks/geese if they got too friendly and I was sitting on my favorite bench behind the Library
  • Reading on my patio
  • Sitting in my easy chair in my apartment
  • Making experimental pies
  • Popping popcorn in my wok
  • Getting my coffee maker ready every night so I could flip the switch in the morning
  • Walking to Whole Foods and buying those wonderful marshmallows from the bakery
  • Driving to work with D…(driving in general)
  • Playing my piano until I realized it was really late and I should be in bed already
  • Buying rainier cherries from the stand on 26
  • Walking around Pittock Mansion
  • Going to Manzanita and spending Saturday morning reading on the beach

    Manzanita, OR - 51x2.  I see this very well,,,

    Manzanita, OR – 51×2. I see this very well,,,

  • Enjoying the breakfast buns (cream cheese blueberry or orange walnut) from Bread & Ocean at Manzanita
  • Eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted
  • Stopping at Tillamook for ice cream on the way home
  • Going to the farmers’ market at Orenco or Cornell
  • Buying fresh strawberries (Thank you so much for bringing me strawberries at RIO, A!)
  • Showing up at L’s apartment in time to watch Wonder Pets with B and have a snack
  • Driving up that big hill to visit the N’s on “The Farm” in Forest Grove
  • My ESL class making me laugh
  • The skyline (the trees look different in OR) as I drove to Niteline at K’s house on Mondays and the sun was setting
  • Going to care group
  • Singing with everyone else at church
  • Carrying all of my devotional books/journals etc. in a basket with my Bible so I could tote it from room to room or outside
  • The giant burritos and the pickle bar at the Mexican restaurant behind church
  • Doing mundane things like getting my oil changed and congratulating myself on being a responsible adult
  • Doing whatever I wanted to do whenever I wanted to do it

Being cognitively intact is an inestimable blessing. But it also means that I remember.


11 thoughts on “245. “I’m rooting for you.”

  1. Us too! (rooting / praying for you!)
    Do you know when you’ll be going back to Oregon?
    I’m glad you compiled the list, and I hope it does help.

    The Wonder Pets reference made me smile. One of our nephews introduced us to that show… “this is see-wee-us!”

  2. Guess who received a postcard from you today?? Pick me!! I did, and thank you for sending that beautiful thoughtful gesture!! I’m rooting for you too!!….of course, I mean I’m praying for you too!!
    Best always!!

  3. There are certain things that I miss to the point that I avoid situations that I know people will be doing them … because they only serve as reminders to me. And then there are inconsequential things I look back on fondly … like being able to snap my fingers. Isn’t that an odd thing to miss? I think it’s because it was something I only did for whimsy’s sake … not for any practical reason.

    I’ll be thinking about you on your Oregon trip. Good luck with it.

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