About a year ago Mommy came go get me one morning (I was still sleeping downstairs) and caught me crying in my bed. Boo hoo hoo!! 😦 I had a full day of therapy ahead and I was dreading it. This is why:
This is ~30s of one of my first attempts to walk post AVM + stroke. The lack of self-awareness meant the absence of fear. Basically, I thought E (1) was nice and I wanted to do anything she said.
The first time I saw my friend A after getting sick was on Labor Day 2011. I asked Mom and Dad to take me to the GWH conference and I had prepared by clearing my intention to walk “the loop” at camp with my PT. Although I got my PT’s green light, Mommy had other ideas. There was also more traffic and bug activity on that very hot day, which I was not anticipating. In the end, I jumped ship early, and Mom ended up pushing me a little on my rollator (Thanks, Mom!)
When I saw A I was sitting in The Chatterbox (the snack bar) with a lot of ice cream in front of me. “Look – there’s your friend!” my nephew pointed across the room and announced A’s arrival. She parked herself on a bench next to mine and I immediately shared my most urgent prayer request: “I don’t want to cry all over my PT,” I told her.
Babies have a lower center of gravity since they are small, and that helps them keep their balance. That’s also why most gymnasts are of a diminutive stature. At my height and with my brain condition, the possibility of falling and getting hurt when I was already quite impaired terrified me. My stomach was in a permanent knot for a couple of months as I anticipated learning how to walk.
I did well to remember one of A and her sister’s favorite movie quotes: “There’s no crying in baseball!” That’s what Tom Hanks tells one of his players who’s having a little moment in A League of Their Own. If you recall, this is the movie about the success of an all-women’s league during WWII – when many men were in the service, and women stepped up to the plate and preserved America’s favorite pastime.
The crushing anticipation almost did me in as I knew the time for me to walk was drawing closer. I did my best to remember, though, that there’s no crying in baseball, and am happy to report that I never broke down during PT as I had anticipated. I suppose I cried it all out beforehand. And celebrating with my walking ring helped.
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