This is ridiculous that I’m writing about how to park a car, but since I can’t park a car at all now I have plenty of oppty to evaluate the performance of others, so here we go. In case you’ve never been a passenger with me let me give some context: When I left my first job I stopped by the parking garage office on Pennsylvania Avenue to drop off some treats for the guys (they were all guys) since they helped me out. They were used to seeing me in a moving vehicle so when I first walked into the office they looked at me a little blankly. But then I was like, “I’m the girl who drives the blank Honda who can’t park.” Ooooooh – they all chorused. They knew me immediately.
I still can’t park, but now I understand it better. The attributes to be concerned with are (1) Form, e.g. are you in the lines, and (2) Legality, e.g. are you in a handicapped spot w/out being disabled and having the proper tags, have you checked the signs to make sure you’re not in a snow route?
In the picture above, we all want to be in quadrant 1: the parking sweet spot. When I could drive I must confess I was often in Q4: parked legally, but probably not very well. I blame my lack of depth perception. Yeah. Let’s go with that.
Also, just so you know, I have seriously considered starting an Instagram feed with pictures of people illegally parked in handicapped spots. Before you do it, just remember that someone else might need that spot more than you. Same goes for the spots shopping centers reserve for Expecting Mothers or Moms with Little Kids. You do NOT want to be on my fictional Instagram feed. And FYI, that diagonal-lined box next to a handicapped spot isn’t a place to park your mini/motorbike/golf cart. It’s for people in wheelchairs to get in and out of their van. It’s also very helpful to me to have some extra space to get in and out of a car since my balance is not good and I like to open the door as wide as possible but have a mortal fear of dinging the car next to me. So please don’t park in this non-spot, either.
Mom and Ai Ai have had to stop me from getting out of the car to “talk” to illegal parkers, even though I insist I’m going to be polite. My unfiltered state is extremely intolerant of poor behavior like this. But if you know what I was like pre-injury, you can go ahead and laugh at the idea of me initiating a confrontational conversation like this. Maybe the passive-aggressive Instagram feed is the way to go after all.
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