Ringing in the New Year

Some incredibly special visitors helped us ring in the new year 💗 we are so grateful for dear friends who find safe and sweet ways to celebrate with us during this Pandemic. And we pray for the patients who must be alone in the hospital or nursing home 💗 and the healthcare workers who care for them. Xxxooo Thank you 💗💗

Xoxoxo, Daddy 🤣🤣🙌

Look at Daddy! His R hand is raised in the Tan Family gesture sigynifying “xoxoxoxo” !! Praise God, my Daddy’s gait has really gotten stronger in the past few weeks. And his overall stance and demeanor is becoming more and more familiar – like his brain isn’t having to concentrate so much on walking, etc. he has time to make xoxoxo noises and gestures. ROTFLOL. PTL for a dad like this. He has been experiencing a bit of joint discomfort. We figure his body is compensating and he’s feelin’ it. MEANWHILE, I am continuing to progress @powherchiro and am enjoying this season of rebuilding. I can hear today (kind of), I can walk today (kind of), and I am learning so many interesting things. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace

Bossy Smurf LIVES

I have always been Bossy Smurf, I just wasn’t as frank about it before TBI. I had an AVM rupture and massive stroke in 2011. I had JUST decided to move to Burundi as a missionary. I am now disabled. God preserved my cognition so I could decide whether or not to keep believing the claims of Christ. I started losing hearing in 2018. I’m now deaf on the L and my R is changing. I have been extensively tested by the best. There is zero explanation as to why this is happening now. But I am rallying my Bossy Smurf resources to prepare. When I felt called to Africa I prepared aggressively. There was a 6 mo. silent phase when I only communicated with God. And then I cultivated cross-cultural service skills. It was HILARIOUS. I didn’t say I was great at it, I said I intended to learn 🤣🤣🤣. But as my world gets quieter I remember that when I saw the hills of Africa for the first time my 💗 skipped a beat. And when @jjburundi met me at customs with a verbal hurricane of Kirundi/French for the agents I realized the first thing I needed to do was accept that I would not understand everything. And all the skills I learned to make a decision to leave my comfortable life I use daily to figure out how to live in the present. The Disabled Community welcomed me in 2011 and showed me the ropes. Prior to illness God also ensured that I was trained professionally and personally to communicate ideas, and I’ve grown into my role in these 9+ years. And now I’m preparing to enter yet another new phase. Trainer David told me in 2014 at a significant Decision Point when I had a lot on the line in This Disabled Life, **There’s an open door in front of you. You HAVE to step through it.** Right now I’m facing another open door that was nowhere in the original game plan. But I won’t be pushed through this portal, I’m stepping over the threshold and am grateful that I’m not doing this alone. M’s surgery was a success!! Pls pray for Rapid recovery, strong healing, and pain relief 💗 @powherchiro is getting my body parts ready to pursue mobility again 🔥 thank you!! #shreddedgrace #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #hardofhearing #deaf #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor

Unrestricted Logos

I am transitioning successfully with my hearing. Or so I flatter myself 🤣🤣🤣. I am adjusting to handling a lot of extraneous noise and accepting the absence of certain sounds. I’m stretching my vision and motor skills to Cue and Sign. It’s SLOW. You can hear the synapses in my 🧠 trying to fire. But I celebrate my ability to hear TODAY by listening to @dwellbible (I bought a lifetime membership and need 3 years of useable hearing to breakeven 🤣). There are many free audio Bible resources, but Dwell is so easy to use and you can choose the voices! My favorite is Felix – he’s African. And lately I’m LOVING listening to Spanish and French praise music. It’s really helping me open myself to the unrestricted nature of the 💗LOGOS💗. *** Special Request*** please pause right now and pray for M and his family. Surgery is tomorrow. Pray for healing and strength for all! Thanks so much. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace #deaf #hardofhearing

Praise: back to basics

I was allowed to hold ONE of Andy Frankenstein’s fingers – with a very light grasp – when he taught me to walk. And then he took that one point of contact away and said, “Just PRETEND” you’re holding my hand. Me: 😑 Mmmm hmm. It’s been 9+ years and I STILL use that trick. Just last week I was having trouble so I stuck my right hand out with that delicate teacup grip and said, *I’m holding Andy’s hand, I’m holding Andy’s hand.* It’s time to go back to basics. PRAISE: my pelvic pain is GONE and I’m rebuilding core and cardio strength. THANK YOU, @powherchiro !! I think my body is getting the care I’ve needed since early 2019, but I was dealing with too many things. My lovely neurologist will be pleased. I have new parameters and it’s no wonder that I’ve lost a ton of physical and social confidence. So it’s back to basics. And Dr. Cheryl and her intern, K, made me feel comfortable. I might not be saying everything out loud, but THANK GOD for professionals who have the EQ to know when you need an accommodation or just some assurance. And then Super Dre bosses me around. My balance is better at the moment. 3 weeks ago I was getting stuck on the stairs. Now I’m able to “recruit my neural system” more effectively like Trainer D says. @powerchiro knows I’m not hearing everything – it has been a GREAT experience for me to learn how to function like this in public, and for me to see how people respond to me. Last week Super Dre devised a COMPLETELY NONVERBAL set of hand and lower extremity gestures to signal to me while I was in the @alterginc that my left foot was NOT doing what he said to do. 🤣🤣🤣😑. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace

I know people like you 😑

Hey, Matt @hopeforhankey I left the house today!! It was for a medical reason. But still 😑. Thank you, @powherchiro for explaining my spine and making me laugh! I ran in the @alterginc for the first time in 2years. I almost burst into tears bc I was so happy. And then I panicked bc I couldn’t breathe. It’s the smushy lung thing aggravated by the mask and hospital mental baggage 😑. I lasted 10 min – intervals w nasal breathing, @dmurg433 . And then Dr.C “suggested” that I get back in the machine and run longer 🤣🤣🤣. Me: I know people like you 😑 *cough* Coach Randy *cough* 😑. Then I stretched and did core work. The pain bothering me since Sept is better. This problem is bigger than any one body part – it’s simply a consequence of the privilege of walking as best as I can for 9 years. I think I need to rebuild and maintain. It’s been a rough few months. My ears are definitely bothering me, but it’s good practice being in public and communicating. I go back next week. 😊 #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace

A tiny bit of pinching 🙏

My psych said, There is no Rx as powerful as Restorative Sleep…All your Neuro symptoms will be aggravated by a growing sleep deficit…you must prioritize sleep. Me: Yessir 😳😑. I respond very poorly to Rx sleep meds, but have been sleeping so much better w natural strategies and your prayers. We have done a TON of mental health work that is ongoing, but I’m off that PTSD dreaming drug and am working through the rest of the stuff with professional help driven by God’s grace 💗. I’m able to cope with life better since I started sleeping more. Still searching for the reason for my pelvic pain. I’ve been cleared by the OBGYN, thoroughly imaged, and was reunited w @powherchiro yesterday. I have a tiny bit of pinching in L4-5, but it’s no biggie. Dr. C opened up my hips and had me stretch and do core work w A. 😑😑😑 ouch. I fussed throughout and am so sore today. Pls pray the pain will go away and for wisdom for me: I need discernment on how much my body can tolerate given the Sea Legs ⚓️. My ears are bothering me 😑 and I want to “return to sport” but must make a wise choice. I follow up w @powherchiro tomorrow. She hasn’t seen me since 2018. Since I’m deaf in the L now I wear a blue earring in the R and say, TALK TO THE BLUE! 🤣🤣💙🤣 #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace


Doesn’t Daddy look great? PRAISE GOD, ERKEP came to see us and Ernie took Daddy and the kids out. I love this pic so much. Please continue to pray for Daddy and Ernie’s health. We are all depending on God’s grace daily, and although we get super tired, and don’t fully understand how to work within the parameters of our bodies yet, His mercies are new every morning. We are Tans. We’re like, LET’S PUSH the ENVELOPE! But the realization is, there’s enough energy to do what God wants us to do. The trouble is discerning what exactly that is, bc that also includes rest. Please pray for me, too. Updates: (1) my R ear hearing continues to change very subtly. There’s a ton of Tinnitus noise. It’s weird, but okay. I am keeping in touch with my AuD team. (2) My back, shoulder, and leg pain have settled down, and my dreams no longer require meds. I’m making great progress in my Mental Health work. (3) Pelvic pain present for 1.5 months. Got the full work up, but still no solution. Full monitoring will take another 3-4 months. (4) While getting the full work up it was discovered that I have a TEENY TINY bit of permanent structural change in my lungs. The bottoms of my lungs do not inflate properly. Apparently they got a little smushed at the onset of my illness (14 days on vent). This was a bit of a downer, but then I remembered that David and Randy trained me assuming I had 100% lung capacity, and are adamant that I control my Heart Rate and maintain performance through breathing technique while under physical and mental stress. They SERIOUSLY stress me out on purpose and then show me my HR to prove that I can handle stuff if I breathe according to their teachings.😑 I fuss a lot, but I’m so grateful for them. And then I realized that there will be a lot of people running around with lung changes after COVID. Praying for the people who are sick, and praying/thankful for the Medical Pros who are treating them, and treating the rest of us who have non-COVID issues. Thank you for helping us. #avmsurvivor #strokesurvivor #lifeismysport #learninghowtolive #shreddedgrace

PS. Shout out to Cousin L, who brought me these cookies a year ago and said we had met like, 20 years before. I had zero recollection of this. He was right.