Wisdom 🦻

PTL ERKEP’s house sale closed today and Daddy’s okay! Please pray for wisdom for me. I saw Dr. C the Neuro Otol – the plan is (1) get a Crossover Hearing aid (a two-aid system) if this doesn’t help(2) Cochlear Implant. I need wisdom bc this will be another significant investment, and my situation might change. A Crossover assumes you can hear in one ear. I lost a little hearing in my R (“good”) ear Monday am, but it resolved within 36 hours – but this might be just the beginning of change. I have lost hearing unexpectedly in my L over 19 months, and a conventional aid is no longer helpful except for a tiny bit of awareness. The latest decline (a) March 2020: L Ear = Mod/Severe loss, Word Recog 32% (b) June 2020: L Ear = Profound loss, Word Recog 0%. This was accompanied by 19 mo. of major sensory disruption that left me with a torn L hip, compromised R wrist, and an overall loss in mobility and confidence. It is becoming increasingly apparent that I must take action to preserve, and God-willing, build, my quality of life. All of my other senses have been affected by TBI, so I cannot compensate for my Hearing Loss as others do – plus, I have PTSD, etc. which complicates matters. I have been receiving EXCELLENT medical counsel, but the choice is ultimately mine. These additional stressors are not helping my vocal cyst calm down – I’m still having trouble breathing and swallowing. I am not pleased at this turn of events, but I was on my BEST BEHAVIOR at the doc today and was open minded and did not sass him. I am confident that I will receive the guidance I am asking for – God gives wisdom when we ask – “liberally, and upbraideth not” James 1.5. And I say again: EVERY choice I have made, starting in 2011 when that thing exploded in my skull, to trust God when things don’t make sense and I don’t like what’s happening, has been, or is in the process of being validated. God is gracious and His particular care of me flouts human understanding. That said, this is still immensely difficult and I need MAJOR GRACE. But my assurance in the promises of God has been written in blood (not mine!) and sealed by the Holy Spirit. #shreddedgrace

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