When I imagine a vacation I might visualize a beautiful bungalow on a secluded island, or afternoon tea being served in a flowery garden in the English countryside, but after ten seconds my mind starts working through the logistics and suddenly those scenes don’t seem as attractive to me anymore. My quality of life has improved dramatically over the past year+, for which I am extremely grateful, but this is because I am increasingly aware of my physical limits and prioritize activities that will mitigate their effects. This is why weekends and holidays (when “real life” happens more) can be so challenging for me because there are more variables to navigate. When I’m really tired I think, I would love not to worry about consequences:
- What if I eat that
- What if I don’t eat that
- What if I take this medicine, or not
- What if I don’t Train today
- What if I miss Treatment today
- What if I throw up or cry or fall in public
- What if I can’t find a restroom I feel comfortable using
- What if the pain gets worse
- What if something happens to someone I love
- What if….
But when all is said and done… I’m over it. The fact of the matter is that I DO enjoy a much higher quality of life than I did even a year ago, and it is also a much higher quality of life than what many others are used to. I don’t have all the answers, but I don’t need to. Don’t worry about tomorrow…
The Lord will perfect everything that concerns me.