465. Why is my life like this?

Mmmmmm.  Coooookies.

Mmmmmm. Coooookies.

Remember how I said yesterday that I’ve been trying to train hard? Well, since I’ve recalibrated we’ve met with some success – there’s evidence that I’m training harder.

Gen could tell something was wrong with my hips by the way I got out of my chair. She didn’t say anything to me, she just eyeballed my gait.   I asked her to please check my left hip (and shoulder) but when I got on the table she went straight for the right hip. Screaming and writhing ensued. But the worst thing was that I knew if the right side felt like that, the left side definitely needed attention.

I’ve been wondering why my legs have been feeling funny. They feel tight and weird like they did in April/May when I started “running” for real. Now that Trainer D and Coach R know that Smurfette is watching me they are really putting me through my paces and I am trying to log more AlterG distance and speed. The end result is that my hips were a little bit in the subluxation zone. Not a full subluxation, just a beginning movement. But don’t worry, Gen put me to rights lickety split. (Hence the screaming and writhing. Later the Front Desk asked, That was you?)

And then she checked my forearms. They aren’t as bad as last week – the tendons aren’t as crossed, but she said it felt like I had kept on doing what I had been doing and she accused me of continuing to use the hair implement that did this to me. Now, I heart that thing and am having withdrawal, but that’s not enough to make me want to hurt my arm more. I haven’t used it. I even wore my hair super straight today as proof.

Another piece of evidence that I’m training harder is that Trainer D is now opining strongly on the kind of protein I need to be consuming after training since we’ve upped the intensity level. Sometimes he greets me with an “I’ve been thinking…” sort of hello, and I know I’m in for it. His newest scheme is to introduce me to circuit training on carefully selected machines.

Trainer D: There will be no resting in between sets except for how long it takes you to walk to the next machine. And if you can’t walk, I will carry you.

Me: I think we should skip straight to the carrying part.

325.  Make them carry you!

325. Make them carry you!

After training I sat in the café and sent this email:

To:      Coach R
From:  Me

…[Blah Blah Blah Administrative stuff.]

… I’m out of the house already (hanging with Animal Muppet – we had words at the assisted chin up machine and now he’s making me drink the most expensive and caloric smoothie ever.)…


To be more accurate, we did not have words at the assisted chin up machine, we had words at every machine. Fun times were had by all.  Also, the smoothie wasn’t that caloric.  I have just been trained by Baker Smurf (who is diabetic) to be wary of all of the sugar in fruit.  And this smoothie tasted so yummy it was obviously fruit-heavy.

After we had words Trainer D informed me that my protein bar was not an acceptable post-training snack. I had to go downstairs to the café and get some liquid protein.

And then I went to see Coach R, “ran,” and ate a bar afterwards. So there.

But before that Trainer D found me in the café and I told him I did not like this whole “liquid protein” requirement bc I had developed a strong aversion to the powders he and Smurfette had introduced me to when I started being nauseous. Actually, it’s probably influenced by the fact that I drank so many of them pre-Oregon. This was his response:

Trainer D: I need you to put your big boy pants on and DRINK THE PROTEIN.

Me: Did you really just say that to me? Booooo.

Earlier I had told him upstairs in the middle of a set, You know, you should really leave bossing to the pros. But if you roll with me a little longer I could teach you some tricks. But apparently he’s absorbed enough via osmosis for him to offer opinions very freely and heatedly. So for now we’ve come to an agreement that I will slurp down another Ensure (Active, High Protein, Low Sugar) after I see him (and Coach R).

When Gen moved from my hips to my shoulders I felt like I was being smushed like a pancake. More screaming and writhing ensued, and I asked rhetorically,

“Gen, WHY is my life LIKE THIS?!?!?”

Her reply was definitive: “Because you’re getting it back.”


PS.  My arms really are acting up so I need to bow out early this week. See you later 🙂

Ann Ning Learning How |Nonprofit books on Amazon!

6 thoughts on “465. Why is my life like this?

  1. Oh Ning, I don’t know Gen but I love her for saying that. And ouch!! So sorry the process is so painful. But so glad it’s worth it.

  2. I have experienced the kindness of strangers picking me up when I fall, but have learned that the true friend will carry you to where you need to be while also telling you your faults. You seem to have many true friends.

Comments, anyone? Thanks for saying "hi" :) (Sorry I can't reply all the time, but when I do the reply appears only on this blog unless I remember to reply via email.)

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s