Last year I asked you to pray for an improvement in my vocal health so I could swallow safely again and so that I could sing. I had been told to go get surgery done on my cords but the ENT who told me to do it referred me to a surgeon since he isn’t one himself, and he saw me at a low point (when I could actually feel that something was wrong).
Happily, 3 surgeons have declined to operate as my cords have gotten stronger with more Speech Therapy plus the passage if time, and they wish to avoid additional scarring. The nodule (or “noodle” as Daddy calls it to make me laugh – he had one, too – that’s what got biopsied a while back. Mine’s obviously non cancerous. He had to get his biopsied bc he’s had it in the past.) is still there, but as long as it doesn’t increase in grossness I think no one’s going to get in there and touch anything. My job is to go get scoped periodically to see what’s going on. Good plan, people. I will submit to the long black spaghetti camera being stuck up my nose and down my throat as long as that means everyone will keep his/her hands to himself/herself beyond the routine scoping.
The last time I got scoped was in December. I should have gone in March or April, but I went to OR instead, and my ENTs keep on moving so I have to go find new ones. I talked to my Speech Therapist and she was comfortable (she was present at my last check up and saw the improvement in my cords herself) with me waiting until June since I hadn’t noticed any changes. I spent a couple months with her in my first completely lucid round of ST and she worked on my swallowing and some techniques for not being so crazy rough on my cords. We did bottom out, however, (or were close to it) that this might be what my voice is like for now after the karaoke machine picture of my voice didn’t really improve.
Although the picture of my voice didn’t improve really, the tension and weakness in my cords did, and when I’ve been told by people in both OR and at Ai Ai’s that my volume has improved since they saw me about a year ago.
YAY! This stems back to my greater ability to exercise. I have really been focusing on learning to manage my air intake and core usage/posture so I can use my voice more appropriately and last longer when I do things around the house. It’s working. People say so. 🙂
In keeping with the tenor of my Recovery the Lord is healing me via ordinary means. A few months ago I felt a difference in the way I sat in the pew at church and threw caution to the wind and tried singing. Reminder: I was not a singer in my life. My old method was to wander around what I fondly hoped was the alto range until I found a (hopefully) suitable interval. My method has remained largely the same, but now there is more wandering and a better excuse. But my musical memory is as keen as ever and I am not as offended by my own sounds.
I hope my singing attempts have not adversely impacted my cords. I will tell you after my next check up. But the point is that I’m excited to be feeling well enough to try and I want to thank you for praying – please continue to do so as being able to use my voice (both speaking and singing) is deeply important to me.