276. Losing Heart


A few weeks ago Dr. M (my favorite endocrinologist in the Whole Wide World) shared a verse in response to a question during mid-week Bible Study.  I can’t remember the specific verse he shared, so I just did a quick word search and wrote down a few for you:

Luke 18.1 “…men always ought to pray and not lose heart.”

2 Corinthians 4.16 “…we do not lose heart.  Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.”

Galatians 6.9 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

The idea of “losing heart” connotes “giving up.”  There are lots of reasons a person might lose heart, but the scriptures consistently tell us not to give up!  The antidote is prayer…things might look bleak on the outside, but we have the resources for inner renewal…and there is a “reap and sow” concept in play here – decisions, actions and reactions will have consequences even if we don’t see the immediate impacts.

This reminds me of my candle wrap template:

155.  So Simple:  Candle Wrap Template

155. So Simple: Candle Wrap Template

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.”  Psalm 27.13

One of the biggest reasons to lose heart is fear.  I think my family’s hearts sank when they saw me for the first time in Oregon.  They had gotten flights as soon as they could and arrived at OHSU to see me hooked up to lots of tubes, with (almost) a full head of hair, but with a lot of swelling and eyes buttoned shut.  Personally, I think poor Tanpo was too sad to write the following email on the day of their arrival, but he pulled it together and wrote it in time for Dr. M (in charge of the announcements) to read it on Sunday morning to my heartsick friends who had seen me bouncing around our church only a couple of weeks before.

I’ve wanted to take a trip down memory lane, so here’s Daddy’s email.  I promise, the story gets better.  Come back tomorrow.  Xoxo


4.9.11:  Day  2,  Saturday  

Dear  beloved,  

Thank you for  your  prayers  for  Ning  and  for  us.    We arrived safely in   Portland, Oregon yesterday Friday  (April  8)  at  about  3:30  pm.    We were met at   the  airport  by  one  of  the  believers  in  the  W  Assembly  who  took  us  to  a  hotel  2   miles  away  from  [OHSU].    It is reputed to be the top hospital  in  Oregon.  We met  up  with  L,  a  workmate  from  China  at  Intel with whom  Ning  had  the   privilege  of  sharing  Christ’s  love  and  leading  to  faith  in  the  Lord.    L has  been   with  Ning  since  Thursday  when  she  found  out  and  has  not  left  the  hospital  even   though  we  have  repeatedly  asked  her  to  go  home.    She kept vigil throughout.  We saw Ning  as  soon  as  we  could.    She was resting and the staff informed us that  she  is  not  under  sedation  after  surgery  as  they  wish  her  to  recover  and   they  can  evaluate  her  condition  in  order  to  determine  what  they  need  to  do   next.      She  has  tubes  all  over  her  and  she  is  hooked  up  to  the  ventilator  to  help   her  breathe.    She  had  a  slight  fever  and  they  are  trying  to  keep  her   temperature  within  acceptable  range.    Juio  and  I  talked  to  her  and  she  seemed   to  hear  us  though  we  really  cannot  tell.    L  had  told  us  that  when  she  first  saw   Ning  in  the  ICU,  she  (L)  cried  audibly.    She  then  saw  Ning’s  eyelids  move  a   little  and  she  noticed  Ning’s  eyelids  were  wet.    Ai  Ai  and  Ernie  took  their  turn  to   see  Ning  and  they  prayed  with  her  and  read  the  Lord’s  Word  to  her.              

 As  informed  earlier,  the  72  hours  after  her  admission  and  surgery  are   consider  critical.    The  staff  said  to  us  today  that  she  is  very  sick,  in  fact  “the   sickest  person  in  the  hospital”.    They  are  monitoring  her  closely  and  doing  what   they  can.    They  also  informed  us  that  as  of  this  Saturday  morning  when  we  saw   her,  Ning  has  not  responded  to  “commands”  from  them  like  squeeze  my  finger,   etc.    When  they  pinched  her  she  has  reflective  responses  that  we  saw  with  our   own  eyes.      But  they  are  looking  for  a  higher  level  of  response  from  Ning  to   commands,  which  so  far  is  not  forthcoming.  One  of  the  doctors  said  they  will  evaluate  her  further  on  Monday  (that’s   when  the  72  hours  will  be  over)  and  see  where  they  go  from  there.

All  said,  Ning’s  life  hangs  in  a  balance.    Ning,  according  to  the  nurses,  is  not   doing  well.    And  we  are  weeping  our  eyes  and  hearts  out  to  the  Father  of   mercies  to  preserve  Ning.              The  believers  at  W  are  most  caring  and  want  to  know  what  they  can   do.    They  wish  they  could  do  something.    But  there  is  little  they  can  do  or   anyone  else  can  do  except  to  pray.

•            We  thank  the  Lord  that  her  temperature  is  within  range  and  pray  that  her   fever  will  subside  completely,

•            We  thank  the  Lord  for  her  every  breath  (she  is  breathing  a  little  on  her   own  now  though  she  has  the  support  of  the  ventilator),

•            We  thank  the  Lord  for  every  heartbeat  -­‐-­‐  her  heart  was  “stunned”  from   the  episode  and  needs  time  to  resolve  itself,

•              We  pray  that  the  bleeding  will  stop  and  the  affected  part  of  the  brain   (posterior)  will  heal    -­‐-­‐  she  is  still  draining  fluids  through  a  catheter  from   her  brain  area,

•            We  pray  the  Lord  will  “restore  her  life”  and  both  her  mind  and  her  body   will  fully  and  completely  recover

•            Please  pray  the  Lord  to  mercifully  intervene  under  the  circumstances.    

Thank  you  and  with  much  love  in  the  Lord,  
     Juio,  Ernie,  AiAi  &  PT

9 thoughts on “276. Losing Heart

  1. Hi Dearest Ning,
    Thank you for writing.
    We Praise and Thank the Lord for hearing our fervent prayers and pleas for you.
    As we pray everyday for you we claim His answers to our prayers for you.
    “You have great faith! Your request is granted.” Matthew 15:28.
    He is forever faithful. Indeed Prayers changes Things. ..
    So together we shall “always pray and not give up.” Luke 18:1
    All our Love & Prayers,
    Aunty Peng Leaxx

  2. Hi Ning! We prayed at nightline for you and listen to the song “In the Valley” during our ladies meeting. Love you and miss you. -Gemi

  3. Well, I’ve been reading along with your blog, but not commenting much, and this post pulled me back in. I remember getting that news, mostly through Ruth, and just weeping and praying. Actually, I am weeping now, so thankful that God spared your life and gave you such precious praying family and friends. How good He is!

  4. So I am catching up after pretty much not being online all week… and it’s crazy how re-reading the email from your Dad brings me right back to the emotion of that day. So weepy here. But so thankful for where we are now!!

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