A long time ago I was talking to Ai Ai on the phone and was detailing my day. “Ed spotted me during my exercises,” I informed her. “Ummm…hold on,” she interrupted my recitation. “I think you need a real person to do that.” I laughed hard because I had only been kidding, but of course my sister’s Mommy Instinct kicked in and she felt the need to address the situation.
I think she’s more used to my jokes now. E.g. this summer when we got into the pool the first time my sister did some laps and I doggy-paddled beside her, (holding a fun noodle) and shouted, “I’m drafting off ya!”
On a recent Sunday a light bulb went out at church, so J==> wedged a ladder in-between the pews and climbed skyward to change it. “Hey, J==>,”I called, clomping over with my cane, “I’m gonna spot you.” Me standing near the ladder was primarily to make myself feel better since I couldn’t have really done anything to help change the bulb or ensure J==>’s safety, but ProfJ and D were there to really do the job. I was just ornamental. ProfJ said he would dial the “9” and the “1” on his phone, so he would be ready for action should an additional “1” be required and we needed to summon some first responders.
I’ve only dialed 911 once, and it was an accident. Soon after we flew home I was supposed to be taking a nap in my downstairs bedroom. I took the opportunity, however, to slip off of my bed and scoot over to the corner of the room where some cookbooks were and a phone was plugged in. My parents had changed the phone system since I moved to OR, so I didn’t know how to work it. I wanted to call my sister but tried several combinations of numbers before I decided to call Mommy for some help. In a weird combination of trying to get an outside line and using the old intercom function to call the kitchen I ended up calling 911. My heart sank as I heard the phone ringing and someone picked up. “I’m sorry,” I told him, “This was a mistake.” “Thanks for staying on the line to tell me,” was his kind response. My bad. Even though that guy was really nice I was so shaken I gave up on calling Ai Ai and looked at pictures of cupcakes instead. Mmmm… cupcakes.
I think 911 operators must be trained on how to handle accidental calls, although they are probably usually from little kids. When the people at work called 911 for me everyone was in “this is not a drill” mode and communicated/moved fast so I got help ASAP. A friend commented that upon learning of the set of life-saving circumstances that came together for me that morning one of our colleagues summarized, Wow, it’s like Someone was really watching out for her.
On the way to VT yesterday we were at a stoplight when I suddenly let out a giant gasp. What happened?! Mommy wanted to know. “My eyes were telling me the car was rolling forward,” I explained apologetically. Mommy patted my knee. “Don’t worry,” she said, “Mommy’s watching.” Well, it’s a good thing Somebody’s watching, because it sure ain’t me.
Update – 6.28.13
I am typing from my sister’s house since I’m on Summer Vacay. A huge bunch of bees have apparently thought this would be a great place for a vacation, too, so they have congregated outside and Boo Boo placed a couple of SOS calls to her Bee Removal Professional, and she’s coming over, STAT.
In other exciting news, Ai Ai took me to visit a local PT (private) practice. They got an Alter G (anti-gravity) treadmill in January and a mix of rehab patients and distance runners use it for training. If you’re injured it’s a great option since it relieves you of the % weight you choose so you can move pain-free. I’ve even heard of pregnant marathon runners training on this type of machine.
Planet Rehab has an Alter-G (or at least a couple, spread across the D.C. area) as well as a Zero-G’s, the harness-type device I’ve mentioned. It is a real blessing to have the opportunity to use an anti-gravity treadmill while I’m away. I’ll go try it on Monday to make sure I can do it, then I’ll be able to sign up for a monthly pass.
Meanwhile, my sister’s family recently acquired a Vitamix and I lost no time in test driving it right after she took it out of the box. I got here yesterday and have already made almond milk, cashew milk, banana pb ice cream and carrot babycakes (like a savory silver dollar pancake). To quote Timmy (after I made the ice cream last night), it’s gonna be a GREAT summer!
PS. Skittles is hiding under a chair in the family room right now because she’s still scared of me. It’s mutual.