Yeah, I totally just said that. And Mommy apologizes on my behalf.
A friend was telling us a funny story recently but he decided to give some context to a new acquaintance sitting at the table with us. So he explained his discovery that our friends had been apologizing to people for him for years behind his back. The apologizing has more recently transitioned to going on in front of him. Were they apologizing for a certain behavior? Our new friend inquired. No, no, he assured her. The apology was for his general demeanor.
This extra “context” was so funny the account that followed was almost superfluous, but I’m glad he told it since it was new to me. The idea of being “apologized” for is not new to me, or Mommy, however. She started apologizing to my therapists in the 3rd Hospital when I was awake enough to talk more but not aware enough to employ a social filter often. She has not stopped apologizing regularly for me since I’m more aware now but my judgments on how and when to use a social filter are …different… than what they used to be. So I’m glad we’re often together in public.
It’s like having a clean-up crew wherever I go, and I love that. As I told M “The Night Nurse,” “I love sanitizing things.” Which is yet another reason I loved PT3. Whenever I took a little break during our session she’d grab a disinfecting wipe off the wall and wipe down whatever equipment was nearby. I mentally applauded her judicious use of downtime since it appealed to my sense of purposefulness and cleanliness. So now whenever I go to the store and they provide alcohol wipes for the carts I snag one and tell Mommy, “It’s PT3-Time!” Except I use her real name. So I haven’t had to get up after a fall like she taught me in a while (I stick near the wall whenever I can and thus decrease my chances of visiting the floor), but her influence lives on.
I’m using the picture above with special permission of this little girl’s parents. Isn’t she sweet? One day this summer she dug a wet wipe out of her diaper bag and snuck over to the window where she was rubbing the pane doggedly. She then transferred her efforts to her cousins, who were also visiting. The window put up less of a fuss.
The picture is also a good reminder that having a clean-up crew is actually a really nice thing. After all, when someone apologizes for you it’s because they love you and think you have merits that make up for whatever they’re apologizing for at present. And we know that now abide these three: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.
p.s. Thank you so much for your continued prayers. I haven’t had a fever since last Monday but it took a lot out of me. My biggest concern was that my left leg buckled up and folded under me a couple of times, but now it’s settled into an overall (whole-body) sense of pathetic weakness. This is a new week, however, and I need to go back to therapy. Seeing as how I have not left the house in 7 days, this should be interesting. I’m sure I’ll tell you about it later.